Author Archives: Mel

I believe.

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Posted by Mel on September 2, 2010 – 2:16 pm
Filed under Church, Community, Grace, Journey

I believe!

For now…..I’m just content to share what’s happening, what I’m thinking, how I’m living, some of the stupid mistakes I make, some of the things I believe in, things that make me smile, things that get me riled up – you get the idea. I’m going to leave you with a few things I believe, this might be a list you want to set down and pound out for yourself and maybe it’ll be something you want to share with someone else.

  • I believe………in grace – not just receiving it but passing it on. I still don’t understand it but I know we all need it and we get it for free. So, I better be extending it freely.
  • I believe………in a God who loves me enough to be tough on me when I need it.
  • I believe………God has a purpose for my life God wants me to glorify him in everything I do.
  • I believe………in following that purpose for my life God, even during the rough moments.
  • I believe………God’s not done with me yet.
  • I believe………in my husband, my kids, my parents, my brothers, their families, my church, my cell family, my friendships.
  • I believe………in learning the most I can from every experience – good or bad.
  • I believe………that iron sharpens iron. (Proverbs 27:17) Still love this one and the people in my life & circumstances that contribute to it.
  • I believe………in the church.
  • I believe………as Christians we should extend love, grace, and compassion to all people & show joy, peace, a longsuffering attitude, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control.
  • I believe………in taking the church to the world and not the opposite-taking the world to church.
  • I believe………as Christians we need to take off the blinders and step out of the bubbles.
  • I believe………that this life will be a journey up mountains and through valleys.
  • I believe………I am never alone.
  • I believe………in a Father who loves me and has great things in store if I will only believe! provides joy even in the midst of some pretty tough circumstances.

I wrote that post what seems like a long time ago. A lot has happened since then! That was May 2009 and it was the beginning of a thaw in my heart. A glimpse of spring and a season of discovery were just around the corner. I didn’t know where I was headed but I knew where I’d been. I’ve learned a lot of things this past year. I’ve learned a lot about forgiveness, both the giving and receiving of it, how to deal with conflict and survive, how to love people and survive! I’m learning a lot about community and how to participate with an open heart. I’m learning to speak into someone’s life in love and NOT with a battering ram! Thank goodness, right? I’m learning where my passions are and things that I really love to do! I’m learning that everything I do has a purpose for His glory.

As I read this list again I realized what I believe has grown stronger as I’ve “grown up” a little. There have been some adjustments in what I believe as I’ve grown. God’s word has a lot to do with what I believe now! It’s funny how things look a little different when you read that book for yourself! I’ve realized that my heart without Jesus is a wicked and deceitful place and that any time I elevate my earthly desires I fall right back into sin.

Some of the circumstances of my life have changed. My attitudes about certain things have changed. My desire to be on mission for God and what that looks like is developing. My willingness to live boldly? Good question! Well it’s coming, and I have a whole lot of learning left to do along the way!! I continue to be a work in progress, but I’m not the same person I was even a year ago. There’s something about grace and faith and taking it all in and then breathing it out that leaves you forever changed!

Did you ever work on your list? Have you pounded out in black and white what you believe? Are you different than you were a year ago? Are you more loving, full of joy, a peacemaker, longsuffering, full of kindness, goodness, & faithfulness? Do you live your life with gentleness and self-control? Where are you on your journey? Are you tired, or bored, or maybe a little sad? Just a friendly little challenge, maybe it’s time…for you to sit down and make that list and spend some time with the one who loves you the most!

Happy Anniversary, sweet Michael!

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Posted by Mel on August 12, 2010 – 12:00 am
Filed under Journey, Love, Michael, Relationships

Remember that day? What a crazy time! We’ve had a few of those in our life together. Looking back over 23 years of marriage I realized I wouldn’t trade a moment-good or bad. I just wanted you to know on this “Friday the 13th” that I love you more today than I did that day a long time ago. Is that bad to say? That I love you more now than I did then. If anyone would understand that you would! We were such kids..there were lots of things I didn’t know back then that I had to learn along the way. Thank you for being so patient with me all these years.

I’m looking forward to whatever comes next and wherever we go from here. I’m so excited as we’re learning and sharing what it means to love Jesus and love people and follow Him wherever he leads. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than right in the middle of this crazy life with you and  I couldn’t let this day pass without telling you…..

Happy  Anniversary &  I love you so  very much!

A tale of two cities…

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Posted by Mel on August 4, 2010 – 1:56 pm
Filed under Church, Community, Family

There are very important things in life that I ignore by filling up my life with unimportant distractions. I have a hard time sometimes breaking myself of the “routine”. Do you know the one I’m talking about? Work, housework, supper, disconnect time (aka-tv/computer time), sleep…continue this until the weekend. The weekend-cram as much housework and “upkeep” that you couldn’t get done through the week, plus entertainment time & collapsing after 5 days of trying to do it all week. Monday morning-repeat routine!

I often dream of a place where I don’t have to continue the “routine”. I look around at all the “stuff” that we have on display at our home that collects dust but has no function. (Hence, the reason for the routine! Gotta keep the stuff !) I think about the fact we only really use a quarter of the space in our house and we are all usually in the same room together at the same time. God has challenged us strongly of recent on our finances and our inattention to the “important” things of this life. We have made some attempt to decrease our debt. We have no car payment at this time and although we are tempted since Michael’s truck exploded we have not succumbed to that temptation. Having one car sucks, or so we think, since we usually have two. The American dream states that we are entitled to have two working vehicles. Right? Too much focus on the “stuff”! But, then something happened….

July happened and Michael went to Haiti and Seth to Mexico and suddenly none of that matters. This didn’t even matter….

I had recently received a “bid” on getting my teeth fixed. I have a congenital defect where several of my permanent teeth never formed, so I either have empty space or baby teeth. Nine missing teeth to be exact! I’ve always felt like to be a “whole” person I should have perfect teeth and I feel entitled because I’ve waited all these years to get them fixed. Then July happened and the 3300.00 to fix my teeth seemed like a very vain attempt to be pleasing to who?….people, myself, my family, God? My teeth work, I’m able to eat, they aren’t decayed…they function in the manner that God intended them to. So, after talking with Michael, I made the decision that these were the teeth God gave me and I would live out the rest of this life with them. I didn’t need my physical appearance to speak for the person I am inside.  I realized that 3300.00 would be better served to build a structure in Haiti or drill a well for fresh water wherever it’s needed.

I know the next year things are happening for our family that will lead us somewhere else, I don’t really know where, but I know God has been getting us ready for a long time. I think He’s been waiting on us to realize what is important and to know that without Him we can’t accomplish anything. So we are getting ready to step out on faith and go wherever He leads us.  I have a different philosophy about this life that I find is not always very popular with some people in my life. But, I’m 100% sold out that this life is not about our comfort or even about us being comfortable, I believe it’s about living dangerously and helping those that God has always called us to help…the downtrodden, the poor in spirit, the orphans, the widows. I often wonder how different we would be if we fell into one of those groups I mentioned? Would we be full of hope like the people that Michael & Seth met. They had nothing… but they had everything…… because they had Jesus and they had hope.

Michael’s group that went to Haiti has partnered with Growing Hope For Haiti and they will be helping with an orphanage there. 43 kids sleeping on kindergarten mats under an open tent with no sanitation and one meal a day. If you’d like to talk to these guys because you also have a desire in your heart to do something outside the routine you can contact Michael here. Maybe your church wants to get on board, they’ll come talk to your church group, your family, your whatever! These guys are willing to do whatever it takes to change the lives of those kids…because it’s what God asked of them when He sent them to Haiti. But maybe you were like me, filling life up with the routine and unsure of what to do. I never really knew where to start…but this is a beginning, a step in a different direction.

Now, before I get hate comments about new cars and “stuff” know that I’m speaking for this family only. We live in a country of excess, we have way more than we need when most of the world is going without. I can’t know that anymore and ignore it…..but that’s between God and I. What God’s challenging you with is between you and Him. If this post somehow raised your interest in maybe living with  a little less and helping someone else that’s a good thing. If it’s not for you, then it’s not for you…..but you have to admit it’s something to think about! Maybe instead of being overwhelmed by trying to help the world….maybe it’s just about one tiny step of faith? One step taken then another……a beginning…..

Quiting Christianity?

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Posted by Mel on August 1, 2010 – 7:41 am
Filed under Church, Relationships

Ever had that feeling? I have certainly been in some situations where that seemed like a great idea! Recently, Ann Rice-famous vampire writer & Christian, has “quit” Christianity. It’s been all the talk on some of the blogs I frequent and as always some of the feedback has been very rotten. Which lends great credence to the message I think Ms. Rice is trying to get across.  We can certainly be a negative, judgmental group and the recent blog comments debating and judging Ms. Rice’s actions unfortunately don’t make Christians look like Jesus. I had that moment of wanting to walk away, of wanting my own personal relationship with Jesus to not be muddied or disrespected by fellow Christians. I’ve learned a lot from those moments and came through them realizing I needed very much to be a part of a healthy community of believers & that not all people who wear the label Christian are truly Christians. (But that’s not my job to judge other people’s hearts….even though I have been guilty of doing just that!)

If I could say anything to Anne, it would be this:

Dearest Anne,

I was so sorry to hear that you have quit Christianity, I know that feeling as I also have had that same thought in the past. It seems when you love Jesus so much that everyone else that calls themselves his disciple should feel the same way you do. I couldn’t understand the negative comments and the tearing down of people that became so evident the closer I became to God’s people. I lived many years on this earth without God in my life and when I found Him and loved Him and I felt his love for me I was 100% gone. I was never the same again but what I began to realize is some of the Christian people around me didn’t feel the same way I did! How could they when some of the things coming out of their mouths were so vile? I found myself becoming more and more judgmental of these fellow Christians!  During a dark night in my own life when I was ready to give up on Christianity I found myself clinging to this Scripture.

36“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I imagine that Jesus knew how very hard it was going to be to “love one another” and I think he knew that we would need that constant reminder. It would be really easy to just love the people in life who are loveable & nearly impossible to love those we judge as not worthy. Through the words and teachings of some amazing disciples of Christ I would realize that I could not say I loved Jesus but not love everyone, even those that call themselves Christians although their actions might tell another story! My own sin was standing in the way of a full and joyful life. See I let my own pride get in the way of loving others. My biggest failing was I could love God’s broken people but I didn’t equate the “religious” people around me as broken. I very stubbornly and proudly labeled them as idiots, who really didn’t get what it means to love Jesus. Pretty harsh, huh? What I now realize is we all wear the label “broken & sinful” no matter how much we act like we have it all together! Little did I know that God would cut my heart so deeply that I would never be the same. Out of this moment of sadness in my life something amazing and life changing has happened. My energy now is better directed in following God’s commandments and helping the lost and lonely in this broken world…..and loving just as He loves me!

So, Anne…please don’t give up hope! Christians are a rowdy, crazy bunch of people…..zealous and overbearing at times but God hasn’t given up on us and I hope you reconsider. I pray God sends you loving and humble people during this time. Who knows maybe you’ll change your mind? I know I did!!

Living in freedom,

Mel

Suffering for doing good?

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Posted by Mel on July 29, 2010 – 8:36 pm
Filed under Emilee, Jesus

8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For,
“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, 19through whom also he went and preached to the spirits in prison 20who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, 21and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him. 1 Peter 3:8-22

Seems like a crummy thought doesn’t it? Suffering for doing good. My Americanized idea~doing good means I get a reward right? I get a prize, or compensation, or at the very least praise! A little scenario played out this morning while at McDonald’s with my youngest. She went to the counter and asked for a bag to be able and take her breakfast with her. After returning to our table the lady behind the counter brought two cookies over and asked if Emilee could have them. She explained that Emilee was so polite and had really good manners and she said that is something rarely seen anymore. (Don’t get me started~that’s a whole other blog post!) Emilee takes all this in and after the lady walks away, Emilee looks at me and says-I’m going to do that more often! I asked if it was so she could get more cookies! She said no, it was because the lady was happy with her and it made her feel good. We’re all kind of like that. We want the recognition that we did good and someone was happy about it. If we don’t get that feedback then somehow we’ve been slighted or insulted.  We certainly don’t want to suffer for doing good! I see so many people around me in my life that “quit” doing good because there’s no return. The whole mentality of…then what’s in it for me? If it doesn’t make me happy or I don’t get anything good from it then I’m just not going to do it! I felt like that wasn’t really something I wanted Emilee to think was okay. I wanted her to know that you do good not for the recognition of others but for the blessings that come from our relationship with Jesus and because He calls us to be obedient to His ways. His ways are so much better than our own!!

We were reading in 1Peter last night in our cell group and I was so struck by this particular passage and have read it several times. I need Emilee to understand that her blessings don’t come from this life, but from a Father who loves her more than I ever can. It is so important that I don’t continue with the thought it’s all about my “prizes” that I get for being the best Christian ever. I don’t want to be that kind of example to my children. Sometimes we get so surprised when things don’t go smoothly because we invest so much time trying to be pleasing to those around us and it never turns out the way we think it should! When we’re doing that we forget about the cross and the sacrifice that was made there because of our sin and selfishness.

My prayer is that God continues to strip off my sanitized “rose-colored” Christianity glasses. I’ve realized that this life is not about my comfort and happiness. It’s about being called by my Father to love those around me, be humble, share my faith, and not always be expecting a prize for good I’ve done. May I always recognize the blessings that sometimes come through uncomfortable situations and yes, even suffering.

May I always remember to be thankful…..

Thanks for reading!

Living in freedom,

Mel

My constant…

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Posted by Mel on June 12, 2010 – 8:39 pm
Filed under Freedom, Journey

con·stant

–adjective

1. not changing or varying; uniform; regular; invariable
2. continuing without pause or letup; unceasing
3. regularly recurrent; continual; persistent:
4. faithful; unswerving in love, devotion, etc.
5. steadfast; firm in mind or purpose; resolute.

I love words and definitions and writing and yes, I even love spelling. That’s the hidden English major coming out in me! I was thinking about people and moments in my life today and that word above popped into my head….”constant”. There are some people and some little routines I have that I consider a “constant”, I was reminded of those things today. I realized how much I take those things for granted. I expect them to always be there because they have always been there.  They, whether people or circumstances, are the same every day. I can depend on those constants, I feel secure and like the world makes sense in some way. Those things provide me with comfort and when they are gone it leaves a longing inside of me. A moment today made me realize that those things can be gone in a second, never to be done again….never to be experienced.
I’ve been reading chronologically in my bible and as I’ve read through the Old Testament I find myself getting to know God in a different way. I’ve always believed there was a God, even before I experienced salvation…but I never really took the time to get to know Him. I realized today as I was thinking about all the different “constants” in my life how God fills every one of those definitions above.  Never changing or varying the same God I read about in the Old Testament is the same one I seek today. He’s never paused or given up on me. He is continuous and I love that He is persistent. It’s the last two lines that really get me …He is~faithful; unswerving in love, devotion, He is~steadfast; firm in mind or purpose; resolute. He is that one thing in my life that is “constant”.  He fills that empty ache and longing that I used to get. That hole that I carried around in my heart, that I tried to fill with a lot of my earthly desires it could only be filled by Him.

A little update….

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Posted by Mel on June 12, 2010 – 8:29 pm
Filed under Emilee, Family, Journey

Michael & I have prayed for a very long time that Emilee would meet Jesus in a way that would forever change her life. Emilee is our child that will never know a time when Jesus wasn’t the entire focus of this family, the love of our lives, the leader of our hearts. A relationship with Jesus had to be her decision, something we couldn’t do for her. So we have prayed for God to fill her life with his love. Next Saturday we will joyfully participate in Emilee’s baptism & celebrate with her as she publicly declares that Jesus will forever live in her heart! Many of you have been amazing and wonderful examples of God’s love in Emilee’s young life-thank you for that.

So many things coming up for the Goldsmith family over the next couple of months! Michael and Seth off on mission trips. Michael to Haiti and Seth to Baja, Mexico with the Newsboys. I know that these moments will forever change their view of the world. May they gain an awareness of the needs of others that will lead them to a life of outward focus.  July will also bring a trip to the Lake to honor John Howser at the Howser Music Fest. What a great way to spend time with others and honor John’s legacy and his impact on our lives. This summer finds me headed back to school and while I’m both excited and a little nervous I am already looking forward to being done! I’m also back to working only as needed-no more full time hours right now.

So much happening, it kind of makes my head spin! I’d appreciate it so much if you could join me in praying for the guys while they are away from home and prayer for Emilee as she starts her own journey with God as the center of her life…that would be so great. Prayer is a powerful thing! If you could pray for me as I start class that will help me get through this next year-I know I’ll need a lot of prayer!

Looking forward to sharing some more “quiet thoughts” over the summer as well. My husband did mention I should write a little more often so that each post doesn’t seem like a novel! I’ll see what I can do. I might have to change the name of the blog to Mel’s Rambling Thoughts! As always, thanks for reading.

Living in freedom,

Mel

Choosing Forgiveness…..

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Posted by Mel on June 6, 2010 – 7:26 am
Filed under Books, Freedom, Journey

May was a month of storms! I talked about them a lot here, they came up a lot at church as we looked into the life of Naomi and Ruth, & we  experienced a couple of crazy spring storms..one that Michael and I rode out in our vehicle!! Storms will always be around! What I think God has been teaching me lately is…that no matter the storm-He is with me!! I believe that, I always have but I didn’t always recognize it. Like a little child sometimes it was easier to go through the rough stuff with anger and bitterness in my heart. Throwing a temper tantrum because my life wasn’t going as I had planned it!! I’m truly thankful that God continues to love me even in the middle of that big attitude! Michael wanted me to remind you how awesome God has been to me through the storms I’ve experienced. So I wanted to end this time of storms with a look back at the changes!!

I could go into a whole story of how God brought my family through some storms, but that might be better left for a book someday!! Too many words!! I do want you to know that out of the storms of my life God is transforming my entire person…my beliefs, my attitude, my proud spirit! One of the things I’ve found recently is God’s loving teaching on forgiveness. I’m really bad about holding a multitude of sins against sinners, including myself! I realize the anger and bitterness I sometimes hold onto during  a storm comes from a very strong desire to protect a very broken heart. (and obviously not trusting God to heal my broken heart!) We’ve all been broken-hearted in some way or another, either by choices we’ve made or by circumstances completely out of our control. Sometimes, I want to blame God, because that seems easy and then I don’t have to take any responsibility for my own actions. But if I remember correctly the Word tells me God doesn’t have any plans to harm me….but to prosper me! Blame can be a dangerous game to be engaged in, sometimes when we’re busy pointing the finger somewhere else we ignore the thumb that’s pointing back at us!!

I learned a lot about bitterness as we studied in Ruth this past month. Remember Naomi?  Call me Mara…which means bitterness! How many times have I found myself in that very same circumstance! Call me Mara! As you continue in Ruth’s story, and what a great story it is, you realize it’s about redemption and God’s grace in our lives! A lot like some of the chapters of my own story! I don’t want to live my story clouded with bitterness and anger anymore! When I gave up control of those situations I began to see God’s amazing work on my heart!

Above you might have noticed a picture of a book…Choosing Forgiveness. I just finished this book and I can’t tell you how it’s impacted my ideas on forgiveness! I thought I’d share the title with you, as maybe your in need of some talk about forgiveness. There have been some people in my life I’ve had to go to and ask their forgiveness, which is never easy! There have also been people I’ve needed to forgive, which for me is even harder! And sometimes it’s me that I need to let off the hook and forgive! Surprising, huh? Whatever circumstances you find yourself in Ms. DeMoss’s book will certainly challenge you to take a good look at where you are! She shares some great scripture through out the book and I plan on keeping those close to my heart!

I pray this morning that if you find yourself trapped in anger and bitterness that you find love and forgiveness in whatever situation is holding you captive. Because, dear one, that’s where you are- trapped, held captive in unforgiveness…….that is all anger and bitterness will bring you. It doesn’t heal your heart, it just holds you prisoner.

It must always come back to this picture for me-a perfect God in the form of an earthly man, shouldering my sins and hanging on a cross-to die a brutal death-FOR ME, FOR MY SINS….so I could have forgiveness! The truth is I did nothing and continue to do nothing to deserve any of it!  It defies human understanding. But I have learned this-if I never translate that to my own life and extend forgiveness to others then I am just selfish and foolish and I really don’t get it! You can’t talk about grace or love or joy or any of those other words we like to throw around without living a life of forgiveness…extended to one another. It makes Christ’s sacrifice on the cross seem unimportant….when it is the ultimate sacrifice that only a most Holy God could provide. It must be the center of my life…it is a story of forgiveness, grace, love, sacrifice….and ultimately joy in His resurrection.  See…He’s not in that grave anymore and there are a lot of us that say we love him that live like He’s still there. Not me, not anymore and hopefully not you! There is a mighty power in going through life’s storms. I hope you find yourself running to them and not resisting them because I can tell you in the storms of my life I’ve found Him! Not a glossy pictured  “happy” Jesus…but the Jesus that would hang naked on a cross, mighty to save…even a sinner like me!

Living in Freedom,

Mel

Guest Blogger: Audra Hibbs

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Posted by Mel on May 16, 2010 – 9:06 pm
Filed under Community, Journey, Women

Out of life’s storms come….hope! A hope- for better life circumstances, a closer walk with God, a realization of what is truly important! I have this amazing blessing of sharing life with some beautiful, Godly women who have these amazing stories and they live life willing to share their stormy moments in the hopes that it might bring hope to someone’s journey.  My friend Audra is one of those women. She has this amazing story that has had a huge impact on my life and I thought it would be great if she would be willing to share a little of her story here.  When I approached her about writing her story to share on the blog…she was absolutely agreeable.  Audra’s story is a story of hope and relationship with God and a “more excellent way”.  Audra and I had the unique experience of getting to know each other during my years as flag corps sponsor with the FHS band. Audra was in my first flag corps at Fredericktown, which that’s been 11years ago now! We were both much younger! I had just turned 30 and Audra was probably all of 14! She has had a huge impact on my journey with God. It was through her example as a young girl who loved Jesus with all her heart that encouraged me as I started my journey with God. After our paths had gone in different direction for several years God has put Audra and I back in relationship over the last two years….He always knows what we need!! During a very dark time in my journey God sent Audra and her story to give me hope and I don’t even think Audra realizes how important her words were to me at that time. Audra is a lot of things and I could write pages about her amazing character but what I want you to know about her is that she loves Jesus with this fierce and intense passion that is truly contagious to all around her. She is wise beyond her young years and she writes the most amazing, God-inspired words that are honest and raw. I hope when you get done reading her words here you’ll jump over to her blog-incomplete ramblings… and read some of her posts, they will impact your life!

Without any further “ramblings” on my part, Audra’s story………..

Dark Days

I’ve always loved rainy days.  Few things recharge my soul like an afternoon spent curled up under a fuzzy blanket, reading a book and listening to the gentle way rain hits the glass on my window.  And the distinctively green smell of the world after the rain passes.

Much like my affection for rainy days, the Lord has instilled in me over time a love for life-storms.  It seems counter-intuitive, really, and it hasn’t always been that way.  There was a specific period of my life that I refer to as my dark days.  At the time, it felt like every worst-case scenario that could arise arose…all at once.  My long-term relationship ended when the man with whom I’d been planning a life told me that he was homosexual; that moment alone created an epic war in the battleground of my heart in which Jesus and Satan battled it out for control over my perception of my femininity over the course of several years.  My brother and his wife, who had been like a second set of parents to me, separated and filed for divorce.  In the span of one year, three of my close friends passed away.  My childhood friends and I began to grow apart, simply because of the wear and tear of time and distance.  Change lurked around every corner, so much that it disoriented me on every possible level.  It felt as though a part of me was dying; every part of my life that I thought I could count on began to tear away at the seams.  And as that happened, my heart went through the same process of tearing and mending, ripping and healing.

But looking back on my life, my dark days, my great storm…they changed everything.  It took away from me the mediocre and gave me the extraordinary.  It took from me a life that was comfortable and sensible and predictable and gave me a life that is daily unexpected and unpredictable and vulnerable and infinitely more rewarding than anything I could have dreamed up on my own.  I have a career and a ministry and a circle of friendships and a husband that I would never trade for anything; each of them things and people that would have been forsaken had my former life stayed intact.

One of my favorite scriptures is I Corinthians 12:31: “But eagerly desire the greater gifts, and I will show you a still more excellent way.”  This verse has become the most accurate description of the way I view the storms we encounter as believers or, more broadly, as humans.

I believe it’s easy for us to desire the greater gifts and get stuck there.  To dream up the life we desire, and to desire it so much that our brains can’t even comprehend anything more wonderful.  And yet, there’s always a more wonderful adventure to come; we always have a Creator whose nature is more extravagant than we can imagine.  And sometimes, when we become so stuck in those “greater things” we’re desiring, I think the Lord finds that the only way to get us to let go is to tear down those things long enough to show us His “still more excellent way.”

I believe there will always be another storm to come as long as we’re ardently chasing Christ; because as long as we’re chasing Christ, there will always be another level to His more excellent ways, at least until Heaven comes to Earth in completion.

So eagerly desire those greater gifts.  And when the Lord uses the storms of this life to tear them down, live not only in contentment but in hope, knowing that He’s about to reveal to you another of His endless progression of excellent ways.

Psalm 29

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Posted by Mel on May 15, 2010 – 10:52 am
Filed under Freedom, Journey, Uncategorized

As I read through the Bible I find myself hearing more and more from God. Funny how that works!! Recently I posted about storms in my life and what that means to me…how it has impacted my life.

I watched a video recently where Mandisa talks about hearing from God and how she believes that God still speaks to us. I have that belief and faith that God is still speaking. I often wonder, “Do we still listen?” After my last post I went to church and of course, we talked about storms. We’ve started a new series at church on the book of Ruth that is having a huge impact. God is speaking!! So this topic of storms has come up a lot since I wrote my last post. While reading this morning in Psalms-you guessed it-storms again in Chapter 29. David talks about the might of God and His storms. The chapter starts with shouting Bravo, God Bravo!!! Gods and all angels shout, “Encore!” They are awesomely praising God for this crazy, huge, awesome storm that just sounds insane and scary. Not usually my first reaction to a storm and asking for an encore seems a little crazy.

The very next verse David talks about “being in awe before the glory, in awe about God’s visible power!” Catch that word “visible”? That’s what I find myself looking for most-a visibly present God in my every day circumstances. Although, it is God’s “visible” power that I so often overlook because of my own fear and indecision. I also get too wrapped up in dreaming life, that I forget to “live” my life. Or I get too worried about failing to try anything. He’s teaching me to stop waiting for the best circumstances and just jump. I’m learning on this journey that failing is no longer a bad word, it’s a step to learning. If I don’t ever fail….then I’m probably not ever going to learn!

As I read about David, I’m really starting to get to know him better and realize why he is a man after God’s own heart! And in the midst of all this crazy storm in vs. 9 David says, “We fall to our knees-we call out, “Glory”! What other response could you have…when you are seeing God’s visible power. I don’t think people do that enough anymore, fall to their knees. I have seen that one time in the last 8 years of church attendance….one time that someone fell on their knees in front of God. That’s a whole other blog post to write!!

My favorite part of the chapter comes at the end. (And no it’s not that the storm is over!!) It’s when I read-God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace. What an amazing promise….through the storms we become stronger and in the midst of it all we find peace. I’m learning to take the storms for what they are and to not fear them as much but to learn from them. I’ve decided to take the storms because He is with me through every one and I’d rather be with Him than go back to living the way I used to when I was lost!!

I know this chapter shouted out to me this morning and I know a lot of people are facing storms right now in their lives-so I hope that you found peace in the words of Psalm 29.