Category Archives: Church

Out of the wilderness…my thoughts on the church.

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Posted by Mel on February 1, 2012 – 8:31 pm
Filed under Church, Community

We all have definite opinions about “the church”. I hear them often from people, all manner of people and many different ideas. Religion and church give us much for discussion~good and bad. It has been my opinion for awhile now to not discuss church too much here on my blog. If I do, I prefer it to be in a fairly vague way. I’ve felt that’s been a good policy to have for multiple reasons. Recently, I’ve been drawn to the idea of sharing some thoughts about church. I could go into a huge background about my own personal church experiences starting with VBS at Aurora Springs Baptist Church when I was a child. That’s a memory that is so far away and misty that I can barely call it to mind. So, from that, you know I’ve had a long relationship with church…but not always a good relationship with church.

ekklesia~refers to all of God’s people which he has “assembled” or “gathered” out of the world.

God calls us out of the world to be a part of an assembly of believers.

Why? Do we believe that? That we are called to ekklesia…. I went through a period of time where I did not believe. Maybe, more than one time, if I’m going to be honest.

There’s something to be said about discipleship, it turns around some very bad theology that we pick up from various places and some selfish thoughts and ideas. It makes baby Christians become mature believers. That said, it’s time to talk about church. I have too many people in my life that don’t believe. Oh, they believe in Jesus but not His church. Too many people in my life that have walked away from ekklesia. Something is broken in our thoughts and ideas about church today and lends to a belief that walking away from relationship with God’s people is okay. Hear this….it is not okay. No matter how disillusioned you might be, or heartbroken, or road weary….or just plain pissed off.

One more time~It is not okay for us to hold on to those broken beliefs and it’s something that gets close for me because I’ve experienced all those things.

I’m going to introduce you to the church my family calls home, because I think it’s important. A lot of you have asked and I’ve been fairly vague about discussing church with you. I’m not sure that’s honored God in any way. I’ll give you a little background on this experience. We walked into The Bridge Community Church in Leadington, MO about 3 years ago. After a year of what felt like wandering in the wilderness, we honestly entered the doors of this interesting looking church building exhausted and on our last legs. Disillusioned and broken and lost and me with a huge chip on my shoulder! What a recipe for disaster! Here we go again, is all I could think. But, what else did we have to lose? Seth Durbin was the first person I remember seeing that I knew and he made his way straight to us. We had known Seth for a long time and he was a friendly face on a very rough day and we needed that…and God knew that. I can tell you now that I could never have dreamed the plans that God had that day. See, God was going to take every prideful thing we thought we knew about church and blow them up.

It’s never easy to commit to some iron sharpening iron. It sounds poetic on the page but not so easy to go through. We were uncomfortable there in the beginning. The Bridge does some crazy stuff…like teaching right out of the Bible. Long chapters of scripture read! Really? Who does that? They talked about hell and how our hearts are depraved and sinful from the very beginning of our lives. Didn’t they know that doesn’t make new people feel comfortable?  They encouraged us to go to Conquering Addiction and let God conquer our last hold on our sins. They talked over and over again about disciples making disciples….about going out on mission….about truly being free in Christ. They showered us in huge deluges of God’s love and talked about real people with crazy life changing stories of salvation and redemption. Big thing for me, no, huge thing…I learned about and accepted the truth of forgiveness~given and received. (I promise, Tim, I’ll never forget…20 bucks! )

I don’t know how many people attend The Bridge, I look around and see a lot of people. There’s not too much mention of that. The music’s great but not the focus. Instead we talk about people who are lost, and children and widows not being taken care of….and then we talk a lot about our responsibility in that. We share life with our communities and other churches. There is no air of competition or insincerity. There are constantly new leaders being raised up and new churches to plant. Mission is no longer a “thing” we do, but a way we live. Whether here in our own neighborhoods or across the ocean.  So many other things I’d like to share, but words for another day.

Tim Gray said to me, in the beginning, that I could come to him and say anything I needed to…even if I disagreed with him. That was not off limits That was a huge statement for him to make and me to hear. I knew, then, I might not always be here at The Bridge physically but my heart would always be tangled up here. The Bridge trains us to go and our family has been going…..recently, to Haiti and I really don’t know where that might lead but I know where it started. The church is so much more than what we have made of it here in America. I’ve experienced that in Haiti and at The Bridge. It’s not a place to go to be entertained and made to feel good. In fact, there are some times that it’s hard and not comfortable and hasn’t felt so good. The Bridge takes the church out of the box and goes one step further and blows the box up! When I stand in the middle of those little bit crazy, radical Christians, that remind me a lot of the early church goers, I know without a doubt that this is the way God meant for church to be. Not always safe, sometimes messy, but always seeking to glorify Him.

I’m grateful for servant leaders like Tim, Ben, and Lance. They are by no means perfect or ever pretend to be but always strive to be humble and love God’s people. Which I can only imagine is hard some days. Tim reminds us often that they will be called to give an account someday for what they’ve done along the way. They take that pretty seriously. I’ve watched them come a long way in the 3 years we’ve been there. It makes me realize God’s always working on our lives and through our lives.

If I can say one thing in closing. Don’t give up. Go somewhere, commit to try. Let God work through some of your ideas. It’s not easy but it is important. Take one step on faith and see where God leads you…..because He will lead you, dear one, somewhere you never imagined.  Remember…. He called you……

The words you need to hear.

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Posted by Mel on November 30, 2010 – 11:26 pm
Filed under Church, Community

There are things that I’ve questioned since becoming a Christian. One of those things is how women fit in the church. What happens if her personality is strong and she’s very passionate about life and ideas and participating inside the church. Is there a place for that? I’ve really spent the last decade trying to figure out how to temper my strong personality. Is that what God wants? Is that what the men that I look to in my life for leadership and advice expect? I have to admit I’ve tried on a lot of different masks to be the “woman” I think the church expects me to be. I’ve probably rode the line of disrespect at times and other times I’ve went too far the opposite direction and bent over backwards to be meek and submissive. It’s been a long road with a lot of mistakes along the way.

One of the things I’ve noticed is nobody inside the church really talks about the role of women. Outside of the classic~spiritual leadership talk that is. I often would wonder if that was brought out to keep us ladies in line! Because that’s all I ever got, very vague ideas. I think that left me even more confused. Did I even have a role or responsibility in the church? I will draw the line right here and say I am very strong willed and have very definite ideas and opinions. I feel deeply and passionately about everything. I don’t fear conflict when appropriate, I don’t go out and pick fights but I will absolutely fight for what is right. (I know you’re feeling bad for Michael right now but he does just fine with “all of me”.) That being said, hear this…I absolutely believe and support Michael as the spiritual leader of this family and in this home. I believe and honor and support the male elders and leaders of my church. I feel deep within me that is correct and what God expects. I believe the bible speaks to that. But very unfortunately I’ve also felt at times that some passages regarding women have been taken out of context and twisted to keep us….I don’t know? Quiet, submissive, ineffective, invisible. I have had the heck beat out of me by some men that don’t believe women have very much value. I’ve also seen that happen to women around me. It makes me sad and angry at the same time.

I was so excited about this past weekend at church, well mostly excited. There was part of me that was also terrified that I wouldn’t agree or understand. See, we were going to be talking about this whole male/female thing. We’ve been working through I Corinthians for many weeks now and we had come to a very specific passage. 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 A passage about gender roles and how the church in Corinth was getting it wrong. I’ve heard lots of pastors don’t like to speak on this passage and I can see why it would be difficult. But, maybe we’ve been getting it wrong here in America, too. Maybe it’s something we need to be talking about more often. The world I grew up in was so different from the world my mother grew up in. I have different ideas about the roles of men and women. Some of the things culture has taught me has been really messed up. I needed this to be talked about. I’ve needed to hear this for a long time. I needed to know we had value for who we are. That I had a place. I needed to know what Jesus thinks about me. I really know what Jesus thinks about me but I so desperately needed some godly men to say this is what you mean to Jesus and to us and to the church. I got way more than I bargained for on Sunday! Tim really doesn’t sugar coat much for you. Actually I’ve never known him to sugar coat anything. But that’s okay because I need someone to say the tough stuff so I pay attention and listen and learn. I won’t ever grow and be healthy if someone doesn’t tell me all of it.  It inspires me to search and pray and grow!

As I’ve said I am very passionate about a lot of things. One of those things is praying for and helping and sharing all my numerous mistakes with women younger than me. If there is one thing I’ve desired my whole life it’s good, positive fellowship with other women. What I’ve sometimes experienced has been nothing close to that. But I’ve had those moments that are right. They aren’t based on what the world portrays as “friendship”. They are what the bible shows me relationships are like and I am so very grateful and humbled by those moments. Women should absolutely be empowering one another, but a lot of times we don’t. I want this message to be a gift I can pass on as a positive thing. I’m not sure I portrayed this weekend’s message very well. It was pretty emotional for me and I don’t always get my words out right when something impacts me this strongly. I probably should have let this sink in for a few more days but I really think it might be words you need to hear right now. Oh and guys….you really need to hear them too!

I’m going to leave you with the link for this weekends service which is a little lengthy but I think it will be so worth your time to watch it. So ladies get your comfy clothes on, curl up in your favorite chair with your favorite beverage and spend some time just listening. I promise you won’t be sorry but if you’re really fired up afterward I’ve got Tim’s email!!!

Thanks for reading!

Praying love and blessings for you my dear friends!

Faith without works….dead!

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Posted by Mel on October 22, 2010 – 12:25 pm
Filed under Church, Community, Journey

14 What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him?15 If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food,16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? James 2:14-16

Bam!!

(Just needed your attention, thought that might get it.)

Wanted to share some stuff I’ve been sorting through that continue the “be the church” thoughts this week.

I’ve found myself to be a “dead works” kind of girl for many years. I had this feeling that if I was “working” hard inside the church that was sufficient and I didn’t really need to be doing anything outside the doors of the church. But then circumstances come along and you get uprooted, turned upside down and inside out and nothing that used to make sense to you makes sense any longer. You look around at people that you’ve always had things in common with and shared life with and now things seem weird and uncomfortable. Suddenly you find yourself acting crazy and doing things like believing EVERY WORD of the bible. You start seeking out other such “crazy” people. Thoughts of selling everything you own to follow Jesus or giving it all away starts being more than a distant thought. You know those “distant” thoughts that sometimes come out of the blue and give you a little zinger! We normally don’t like those! Those thoughts we run from, hide from, ignore, stuff way down deep….know what I mean?

Well, of late, those thoughts are crowded up in my mind until I can’t get away from them. Then the craziest thing begins to happen~all those thoughts that used to be wacky and bizarre start feeling normal and all those “crazy” thoughts and people actually end up being the ones making the most sense. Go figure! You find the anxiety in your thoughts and the tight feeling in your chest that you’ve lived with a long time start going away to be replaced by crazy things like….well, peace for one; and a lot of joy; and this weird ability to be content. Even being content with the idea that all you may be left with is whatever others share with you and you share with them! Suddenly,  living, truly living and helping in community is the most important thing you will ever do here…on this earth. You realize there are no coincidences, there is no “random”. You start bumping into a lot of people with the same ideas. (I like to think of them as God designed meetings with other people that have those same ideas!)

I have so many things to talk to you about but I can’t put it all in one post. My posts on an average day run about 1100 words. That’s too many! So blogging more frequently and not as long is a must. You don’t need to spend all day reading one post on one blog! I hope you’ll check here frequently, I have a feeling God has some things in store for us. Maybe some things we’re going to help one another with!

Right now I want to leave you with something you could help me with and I would be so grateful! My 42nd birthday is coming up in December and this year I’ve given my birthday away to charitywater.org and you can go HERE to join me in celebrating. I would really love it if the goal I picked was exceeded. Maybe you could skip a breakfast out or your favorite Starbuck’s coffee just once to help me by giving that $5 to a really great organization. (Or more if you like!!) You can even watch them via internet drill wells in villages!! How cool is that?!! I know what you’re thinking~we don’t exchange birthday gifts anyway. Maybe this year could be an exception….and should you choose to do the same with your birthday this year send me a message…..BECAUSE I AM SO GIVING YOU A GIFT THIS YEAR!!!

Be the Church?

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Posted by Mel on October 18, 2010 – 1:20 pm
Filed under Church, Community, Life

I always have the best intentions to write more often! I see it’s been, once again, a month since I last blogged. I’ll have you know that in that time I’ve written some fantastic blog posts…in my mind! I seem to have these thoughts frequently but often have a hard time translating it to written word. I really do enjoy writing, I love the transparency that it allows, I very much enjoy the community involved. I even find myself enjoying a good debate should someone not agree exactly with what I have to say! I’m learning that “tension” is a good thing, it encourages you to stretch and learn and grow! I’ve also come to understand that when I’m “comfortable”…..I’ve become complacent. Not somewhere I want to be anymore, I prefer to live with that tension because it keeps me moving forward! All that being said, I feel very strongly about today’s moment of writing.

I’ve read two different accounts today of people questioning God, Christians, Church~and not in a very positive way! When I read things like that I feel overwhelmed by sadness.In the last few years I’ve read hundreds of those accounts!  I understand those feelings so well and I know the place they come from. It can absolutely swamp you, it can change your opinion, it can make you throw your hands up and walk away. What I’ve noted when reading about the Church on the world wide web is there are really only two places people camp out on “church  & God”…..love it or hate it. (At least those that weigh in on their opinions!) I try very desperately to never enter into a debate about religion….especially when someone has experienced a hurt. You are not going to change their mind by debating them. Usually, once you’ve formed your own opinion you refuse to hear what anybody says that’s on the other side of that issue. I can speak pretty comfortably about this from experience.

I can’t help but be heartbroken! I remember the despair and anguish…the absolute bewilderment that can go along with those experiences! I want so much to encourage them, to scream loudly don’t give up on God-because He never gives up on us. I want to tell them that we are all broken on the inside, that we are all slaves to our deceitful hearts that elevate selfish desires like pride and being right over love and forgiveness. I want to tell them not to give up Hope. Keep moving forward, learn and move on, but never give up! It’s easy to say that today. (I mean it’s easier for me to say that today than it would have been several years ago when it all felt hopeless to me.)

I wondered today why I wasn’t like some of the people that I encounter who hate the Church, hate God, hate anything to do with religion. I could have remained where I was~doubting, scared, empty. That emptiness I felt for 6 months after my experience felt like winter. I look back now and realize it was a season I had to go through to be here now but why doesn’t that translate for some? How do they become lost? Are they forever lost? Do we even care? Does the church even notice? I feel very conflicted and sad today. My very soul cries out to God to comfort those that have been harmed, those that have been marginalized, made invisible, broken by those that would call themselves christians but are really just Pharisees playing games. I want to yell down the house! “That experience is not a reflection of the God that loves you so much that He sent His only son to die a brutal death on a cross… so that you and I might have a way back to Him!!” I want them to know that God is not some “mystical, invisible, magician in the sky” that might not really exist. I want them to know the power and strength of His love! I want them to know what it feels like to be covered in grace! But, I can’t make them see it my way, can I? I can’t bully them or debate them or tell them to get over it.

God! Please, I pray you open people’s hearts, heal their hurts, remind them that the church is not always a reflection of the God who loves them! Connect them with Christian people that are humble and loving, that are willing to listen and who have the right words to say.

I pray desperately today for the Church. That’s all of us, we are the Church. It’s not this little church and this big church and this Methodist church and this Baptist church. WE ARE THE CHURCH! There is no division in that…..there is not one “church” that is better at being the “church” than any other. Careful, careful when you discount all the good things being done by the Church when you want to elevate your “own church” above all others. If you say things like~ “If only people would come here they would never go to another church!” It’s PRIDEFUL! It means your “agenda”, “vision”, “whatever you want to call it” is more important than sharing the gospel!  You should be saying-”How can I partner with the churches around me, become the Church that Jesus started here on earth and actually fulfill the job left to His disciples!

Is it even possible…..can we be the Church? I see a glimmer of that, I see a beginning…I see churches partnering with one another,sharing resources, not participating in the “competitor” mentality, starting ministries in their communities with other churches.  I like what I see! I’m starting to see a little bit of Acts 2:42-47 and it’s really good.

This is what I think “Church” is….

42 They were devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.43 Reverential awe came over everyone, and many wonders and miraculous signs came about by the apostles. 44 All who believed were together and held everything in common, 45 and they began selling their property and possessions and distributing the proceeds to everyone, as anyone had need. 46 Every day they continued to gather together by common consent in the temple courts, breaking bread from house to house, sharing their food with glad and humble hearts,

47 praising God and having the good will of all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number every day those who were being saved.  Acts 2:42-47

I believe.

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Posted by Mel on September 2, 2010 – 2:16 pm
Filed under Church, Community, Grace, Journey

I believe!

For now…..I’m just content to share what’s happening, what I’m thinking, how I’m living, some of the stupid mistakes I make, some of the things I believe in, things that make me smile, things that get me riled up – you get the idea. I’m going to leave you with a few things I believe, this might be a list you want to set down and pound out for yourself and maybe it’ll be something you want to share with someone else.

  • I believe………in grace – not just receiving it but passing it on. I still don’t understand it but I know we all need it and we get it for free. So, I better be extending it freely.
  • I believe………in a God who loves me enough to be tough on me when I need it.
  • I believe………God has a purpose for my life God wants me to glorify him in everything I do.
  • I believe………in following that purpose for my life God, even during the rough moments.
  • I believe………God’s not done with me yet.
  • I believe………in my husband, my kids, my parents, my brothers, their families, my church, my cell family, my friendships.
  • I believe………in learning the most I can from every experience – good or bad.
  • I believe………that iron sharpens iron. (Proverbs 27:17) Still love this one and the people in my life & circumstances that contribute to it.
  • I believe………in the church.
  • I believe………as Christians we should extend love, grace, and compassion to all people & show joy, peace, a longsuffering attitude, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control.
  • I believe………in taking the church to the world and not the opposite-taking the world to church.
  • I believe………as Christians we need to take off the blinders and step out of the bubbles.
  • I believe………that this life will be a journey up mountains and through valleys.
  • I believe………I am never alone.
  • I believe………in a Father who loves me and has great things in store if I will only believe! provides joy even in the midst of some pretty tough circumstances.

I wrote that post what seems like a long time ago. A lot has happened since then! That was May 2009 and it was the beginning of a thaw in my heart. A glimpse of spring and a season of discovery were just around the corner. I didn’t know where I was headed but I knew where I’d been. I’ve learned a lot of things this past year. I’ve learned a lot about forgiveness, both the giving and receiving of it, how to deal with conflict and survive, how to love people and survive! I’m learning a lot about community and how to participate with an open heart. I’m learning to speak into someone’s life in love and NOT with a battering ram! Thank goodness, right? I’m learning where my passions are and things that I really love to do! I’m learning that everything I do has a purpose for His glory.

As I read this list again I realized what I believe has grown stronger as I’ve “grown up” a little. There have been some adjustments in what I believe as I’ve grown. God’s word has a lot to do with what I believe now! It’s funny how things look a little different when you read that book for yourself! I’ve realized that my heart without Jesus is a wicked and deceitful place and that any time I elevate my earthly desires I fall right back into sin.

Some of the circumstances of my life have changed. My attitudes about certain things have changed. My desire to be on mission for God and what that looks like is developing. My willingness to live boldly? Good question! Well it’s coming, and I have a whole lot of learning left to do along the way!! I continue to be a work in progress, but I’m not the same person I was even a year ago. There’s something about grace and faith and taking it all in and then breathing it out that leaves you forever changed!

Did you ever work on your list? Have you pounded out in black and white what you believe? Are you different than you were a year ago? Are you more loving, full of joy, a peacemaker, longsuffering, full of kindness, goodness, & faithfulness? Do you live your life with gentleness and self-control? Where are you on your journey? Are you tired, or bored, or maybe a little sad? Just a friendly little challenge, maybe it’s time…for you to sit down and make that list and spend some time with the one who loves you the most!

A tale of two cities…

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Posted by Mel on August 4, 2010 – 1:56 pm
Filed under Church, Community, Family

There are very important things in life that I ignore by filling up my life with unimportant distractions. I have a hard time sometimes breaking myself of the “routine”. Do you know the one I’m talking about? Work, housework, supper, disconnect time (aka-tv/computer time), sleep…continue this until the weekend. The weekend-cram as much housework and “upkeep” that you couldn’t get done through the week, plus entertainment time & collapsing after 5 days of trying to do it all week. Monday morning-repeat routine!

I often dream of a place where I don’t have to continue the “routine”. I look around at all the “stuff” that we have on display at our home that collects dust but has no function. (Hence, the reason for the routine! Gotta keep the stuff !) I think about the fact we only really use a quarter of the space in our house and we are all usually in the same room together at the same time. God has challenged us strongly of recent on our finances and our inattention to the “important” things of this life. We have made some attempt to decrease our debt. We have no car payment at this time and although we are tempted since Michael’s truck exploded we have not succumbed to that temptation. Having one car sucks, or so we think, since we usually have two. The American dream states that we are entitled to have two working vehicles. Right? Too much focus on the “stuff”! But, then something happened….

July happened and Michael went to Haiti and Seth to Mexico and suddenly none of that matters. This didn’t even matter….

I had recently received a “bid” on getting my teeth fixed. I have a congenital defect where several of my permanent teeth never formed, so I either have empty space or baby teeth. Nine missing teeth to be exact! I’ve always felt like to be a “whole” person I should have perfect teeth and I feel entitled because I’ve waited all these years to get them fixed. Then July happened and the 3300.00 to fix my teeth seemed like a very vain attempt to be pleasing to who?….people, myself, my family, God? My teeth work, I’m able to eat, they aren’t decayed…they function in the manner that God intended them to. So, after talking with Michael, I made the decision that these were the teeth God gave me and I would live out the rest of this life with them. I didn’t need my physical appearance to speak for the person I am inside.  I realized that 3300.00 would be better served to build a structure in Haiti or drill a well for fresh water wherever it’s needed.

I know the next year things are happening for our family that will lead us somewhere else, I don’t really know where, but I know God has been getting us ready for a long time. I think He’s been waiting on us to realize what is important and to know that without Him we can’t accomplish anything. So we are getting ready to step out on faith and go wherever He leads us.  I have a different philosophy about this life that I find is not always very popular with some people in my life. But, I’m 100% sold out that this life is not about our comfort or even about us being comfortable, I believe it’s about living dangerously and helping those that God has always called us to help…the downtrodden, the poor in spirit, the orphans, the widows. I often wonder how different we would be if we fell into one of those groups I mentioned? Would we be full of hope like the people that Michael & Seth met. They had nothing… but they had everything…… because they had Jesus and they had hope.

Michael’s group that went to Haiti has partnered with Growing Hope For Haiti and they will be helping with an orphanage there. 43 kids sleeping on kindergarten mats under an open tent with no sanitation and one meal a day. If you’d like to talk to these guys because you also have a desire in your heart to do something outside the routine you can contact Michael here. Maybe your church wants to get on board, they’ll come talk to your church group, your family, your whatever! These guys are willing to do whatever it takes to change the lives of those kids…because it’s what God asked of them when He sent them to Haiti. But maybe you were like me, filling life up with the routine and unsure of what to do. I never really knew where to start…but this is a beginning, a step in a different direction.

Now, before I get hate comments about new cars and “stuff” know that I’m speaking for this family only. We live in a country of excess, we have way more than we need when most of the world is going without. I can’t know that anymore and ignore it…..but that’s between God and I. What God’s challenging you with is between you and Him. If this post somehow raised your interest in maybe living with  a little less and helping someone else that’s a good thing. If it’s not for you, then it’s not for you…..but you have to admit it’s something to think about! Maybe instead of being overwhelmed by trying to help the world….maybe it’s just about one tiny step of faith? One step taken then another……a beginning…..

Quiting Christianity?

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Posted by Mel on August 1, 2010 – 7:41 am
Filed under Church, Relationships

Ever had that feeling? I have certainly been in some situations where that seemed like a great idea! Recently, Ann Rice-famous vampire writer & Christian, has “quit” Christianity. It’s been all the talk on some of the blogs I frequent and as always some of the feedback has been very rotten. Which lends great credence to the message I think Ms. Rice is trying to get across.  We can certainly be a negative, judgmental group and the recent blog comments debating and judging Ms. Rice’s actions unfortunately don’t make Christians look like Jesus. I had that moment of wanting to walk away, of wanting my own personal relationship with Jesus to not be muddied or disrespected by fellow Christians. I’ve learned a lot from those moments and came through them realizing I needed very much to be a part of a healthy community of believers & that not all people who wear the label Christian are truly Christians. (But that’s not my job to judge other people’s hearts….even though I have been guilty of doing just that!)

If I could say anything to Anne, it would be this:

Dearest Anne,

I was so sorry to hear that you have quit Christianity, I know that feeling as I also have had that same thought in the past. It seems when you love Jesus so much that everyone else that calls themselves his disciple should feel the same way you do. I couldn’t understand the negative comments and the tearing down of people that became so evident the closer I became to God’s people. I lived many years on this earth without God in my life and when I found Him and loved Him and I felt his love for me I was 100% gone. I was never the same again but what I began to realize is some of the Christian people around me didn’t feel the same way I did! How could they when some of the things coming out of their mouths were so vile? I found myself becoming more and more judgmental of these fellow Christians!  During a dark night in my own life when I was ready to give up on Christianity I found myself clinging to this Scripture.

36“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I imagine that Jesus knew how very hard it was going to be to “love one another” and I think he knew that we would need that constant reminder. It would be really easy to just love the people in life who are loveable & nearly impossible to love those we judge as not worthy. Through the words and teachings of some amazing disciples of Christ I would realize that I could not say I loved Jesus but not love everyone, even those that call themselves Christians although their actions might tell another story! My own sin was standing in the way of a full and joyful life. See I let my own pride get in the way of loving others. My biggest failing was I could love God’s broken people but I didn’t equate the “religious” people around me as broken. I very stubbornly and proudly labeled them as idiots, who really didn’t get what it means to love Jesus. Pretty harsh, huh? What I now realize is we all wear the label “broken & sinful” no matter how much we act like we have it all together! Little did I know that God would cut my heart so deeply that I would never be the same. Out of this moment of sadness in my life something amazing and life changing has happened. My energy now is better directed in following God’s commandments and helping the lost and lonely in this broken world…..and loving just as He loves me!

So, Anne…please don’t give up hope! Christians are a rowdy, crazy bunch of people…..zealous and overbearing at times but God hasn’t given up on us and I hope you reconsider. I pray God sends you loving and humble people during this time. Who knows maybe you’ll change your mind? I know I did!!

Living in freedom,

Mel

People of the Second Chance

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Posted by Mel on February 6, 2010 – 9:37 pm
Filed under Church, Opinions

“People of the Second Chance gives voice to a scandalous movement of radical grace in life and leadership. We challenge the common misconceptions about failure and success and stand with those who have hit rock bottom in their personal and professional lives. We are a community that is committed to stretch ourselves in the areas of relational forgiveness, personal transparency, and advocate for mercy over judgment.

We are not ashamed of our scars, wounds, or failures and leverage them as a source of strength and character development.

People of the Second Chance have experienced a second chance so we  actively support social justice organizations and advocate for the vulnerable, forgotten, and left behind.

We are People of the Second Chance.”

I wanted to share this website. I’ve been following these guys for a long time, back in their “deadly viper” days. They seem very sincere and humble in their own lives, or they at least admit to it when they aren’t! I love the concept of radical grace and the more I grow in my relationship with God..the more I believe it and embrace it and want to practice it in my own life. I have realized the people most willing to give someone a second chance….. are the same people who have needed a second chance in their own lives!!

From experience & some up close observation of situations and the way they are sometimes handled-I would say this is a concept the church often gets wrong. Radical grace doesn’t seem to exist in the “big business” that some churches deal in. You can certainly run church like a multi-million dollar business, but I think when you do that you lose the best of what God has planned for His church. The living life part-the learning to be humble, the dying to self, & most definitely the working through conflict part. It makes you better-working through rough times and conflict-it makes you stronger, it refines your character!  A little something I’ve come to realize over the last few years. It seems a sad example the way the Western church seems to be able to deal in the souls of it’s parishioners as disposable and list them under the heading of “collateral damage” when tough situations come up. It seems almost arrogant and prideful to decide which of God’s people are disposable-I’m grateful God doesn’t find me disposable. It’s strange to me that God always forgives but yet at times church leadership would rather crucify than forgive, shun rather than love. Those guys…those are the bad guys that give all churches a strike against them. Those are the churches that turn people against anything to do with God. It’s sad that we don’t teach grace and model relationships of love-the good and the bad parts-so people know that we are not so different after all…that everyone needs a second chance-that everyone deserves a second chance. Because, the last time I checked we are all sinful, we all fail in some way, we all make bad choices at one time or another.

I love that my God is a God of second chances….because once again without grace where would I be? Certainly this life is painful at times and we’ve all experienced painful situations. There have probably been people in your life that have walked away, turned their back on you…but know that God….He never turns his back, He never walks away. He is the Protector of our souls, our strong tower in times of trouble…the giver of second chances! My prayer for you tonight..if you are finding yourself in a situation where you need a second chance…I pray that God sends you people that know what it means to need a second chance, people that are willing to stand by your side and remind you of your second chance. And I hope, should God call you to be that for someone else…that you don’t turn away!

Merry Christmas!!!

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Posted by Mel on December 25, 2009 – 9:25 pm
Filed under Church, Family, Love

Merry Christmas!!

I hope this post finds you full of joy…and maybe turkey! Or, if you’re like this household we go for the non-traditional meals! Last night’s Christmas Eve supper was fantastic pizza from Keith’s Carry-Out. Can you tell we are huge pizza fans at this house!? Christmas this year was so wonderful and peaceful. It was the 5 of us and we enjoyed each others company very much. We had the opportunity to attend Christmas Eve services together as a family. The Bridge had services which started at 11pm last night and ended after midnight. It was a very beautiful experience to be worshiping God on Christmas Eve and then continuing that worship into Christmas Day!

In the 22 years that Michael and I have been married we have always celebrated our family Christmas on Christmas Eve. That was a tradition I brought from my family. Michael brought the tradition of a live Christmas tree from his. It’s funny how traditions really come to the forefront at Holidays. I can remember going to my Grandma Apperson’s every Christmas Eve and then returning home…to find Santa had already found his way to our house!! That is a big comfort memory for me! Last night’s visit from Santa occurred while we were out and about! So, it was definitely a late night as our Christmas started well after midnight!

My favorite Christmas present is this little blog that the guys from Creative Improv built for me! (Do you build a page or make a page? Hmmm…that’s a question I don’t know the answer to!) I am looking forward to writing more and sharing life.  I have this wonderful writing sweater I’ll have to tell you about soon! That sweater has a great story…but that’s one for a different day. God’s been “refining” me a little…okay a lot…this past year and I can’t wait to tell you about some of those crazy moments! Okay, I’m really getting ahead of myself! A little end of the day Christmas excitement on about 3 hours of sleep has me just a little wacky!!

Before I go tonight…I’d love to hear about one of your favorite holiday traditions from your childhood that you continue today with your family.

Also, if you are blogging I’d love to stop by and read what’s on your mind. Leave me a link in a comment on this post.

Good night for now…praying for peace and joy in your life this holiday season and the year to come!!!