Mel's Quiet Thoughts

Category Archives: Community

Guest Blogger: Audra Hibbs

Posted by Mel on May 16, 2010 – 9:06 pm

Out of life’s storms come….hope! A hope- for better life circumstances, a closer walk with God, a realization of what is truly important! I have this amazing blessing of sharing life with some beautiful, Godly women who have these amazing stories and they live life willing to share their stormy moments in the hopes that it might bring hope to someone’s journey. My friend Audra is one of those women. She has this amazing story that has had a huge impact on my life and I thought it would be great if she would be willing to share a little of her story here. When I approached her about writing her story to share on the blog…she was absolutely agreeable. Audra’s story is a story of hope and relationship with God and a “more excellent way”. Audra and I had the unique experience of getting to know each other during my years as flag corps sponsor with the FHS band. Audra was in my first flag corps at Fredericktown, which that’s been 11years ago now! We were both much younger! I had just turned 30 and Audra was probably all of 14! She has had a huge impact on my journey with God. It was through her example as a young girl who loved Jesus with all her heart that encouraged me as I started my journey with God. After our paths had gone in different direction for several years God has put Audra and I back in relationship over the last two years….He always knows what we need!! During a very dark time in my journey God sent Audra and her story to give me hope and I don’t even think Audra realizes how important her words were to me at that time. Audra is a lot of things and I could write pages about her amazing character but what I want you to know about her is that she loves Jesus with this fierce and intense passion that is truly contagious to all around her. She is wise beyond her young years and she writes the most amazing, God-inspired words that are honest and raw. I hope when you get done reading her words here you’ll jump over to her blog-incomplete ramblings… and read some of her posts, they will impact your life!

Without any further “ramblings” on my part, Audra’s story………..

Dark Days

I’ve always loved rainy days. Few things recharge my soul like an afternoon spent curled up under a fuzzy blanket, reading a book and listening to the gentle way rain hits the glass on my window. And the distinctively green smell of the world after the rain passes.

Much like my affection for rainy days, the Lord has instilled in me over time a love for life-storms. It seems counter-intuitive, really, and it hasn’t always been that way. There was a specific period of my life that I refer to as my dark days. At the time, it felt like every worst-case scenario that could arise arose…all at once. My long-term relationship ended when the man with whom I’d been planning a life told me that he was homosexual; that moment alone created an epic war in the battleground of my heart in which Jesus and Satan battled it out for control over my perception of my femininity over the course of several years. My brother and his wife, who had been like a second set of parents to me, separated and filed for divorce. In the span of one year, three of my close friends passed away. My childhood friends and I began to grow apart, simply because of the wear and tear of time and distance. Change lurked around every corner, so much that it disoriented me on every possible level. It felt as though a part of me was dying; every part of my life that I thought I could count on began to tear away at the seams. And as that happened, my heart went through the same process of tearing and mending, ripping and healing.

But looking back on my life, my dark days, my great storm…they changed everything. It took away from me the mediocre and gave me the extraordinary. It took from me a life that was comfortable and sensible and predictable and gave me a life that is daily unexpected and unpredictable and vulnerable and infinitely more rewarding than anything I could have dreamed up on my own. I have a career and a ministry and a circle of friendships and a husband that I would never trade for anything; each of them things and people that would have been forsaken had my former life stayed intact.

One of my favorite scriptures is I Corinthians 12:31: “But eagerly desire the greater gifts, and I will show you a still more excellent way.” This verse has become the most accurate description of the way I view the storms we encounter as believers or, more broadly, as humans.

I believe it’s easy for us to desire the greater gifts and get stuck there. To dream up the life we desire, and to desire it so much that our brains can’t even comprehend anything more wonderful. And yet, there’s always a more wonderful adventure to come; we always have a Creator whose nature is more extravagant than we can imagine. And sometimes, when we become so stuck in those “greater things” we’re desiring, I think the Lord finds that the only way to get us to let go is to tear down those things long enough to show us His “still more excellent way.”

I believe there will always be another storm to come as long as we’re ardently chasing Christ; because as long as we’re chasing Christ, there will always be another level to His more excellent ways, at least until Heaven comes to Earth in completion.

So eagerly desire those greater gifts. And when the Lord uses the storms of this life to tear them down, live not only in contentment but in hope, knowing that He’s about to reveal to you another of His endless progression of excellent ways.

My Rear View Mirror

Posted by Mel on January 4, 2010 – 12:02 am

Filed under Community, Freedom

I have a friend that is a great source of inspiration to me. She has experienced more in a short amount of time than most people encounter their whole lives. She mentioned to me right before the holidays that she was anticipating 2010 and what it would bring. She shared that she desires her rear view mirror to be small and her windshield to be large. I love that attitude! When you think about that statement it makes all the sense in the world. How many times have I been so busy looking in my “very large” rear view mirror that my windshield has become small….with hardly a glance forward? Sometimes I get so focused on my past I forget to look forward! I realize I should certainly learn from my past and I can share that part of my story but it can’t be my focus. Looking forward…..through my windshield….to what comes next- that’s my focus! I am amazingly blessed with a God who loves me; an amazing, crazy family; and these beautiful, inspiring people that God has intersected my life with theirs. It’s an important balance of “living” every moment and anticipating the future!

As I look to 2010 I find myself at peace with life’s experiences and ready for what’s next. I’m joining my friend in a prayer that my rear view mirror stays small and my focus is through the windshield in front of me! I understand that there will continue to be sorrow and tough days. (Although there are a lot of things I don’t understand! ) God didn’t promise me treasures here in this life but He did promise a plan for my life and a relationship with Him that’s enough to sustain me through anything. I don’t imagine Paul or Stephen or John could have imagined the hardships and trials of their lives when they chose to follow God’s call. But I can’t really believe when they got to the end of their story here on this earth that they would have wanted it any other way! What came next….in heaven…..was more than they ever could have imagined! I’ve lived enough life to know those rough times come and life’s journey and my story will be painful…maybe even more than I expected. I’m starting to understand what joy and contentment is like and it’s not something you trade on or barter over. It just is….it’s this thing that invades your soul.

It is comfort to the pain of living and learning!

My hope is that you find in 2010-your focus in what brings you joy; that your story is filled with people that love you and people who commit to share the journey with you.

Here’s to Friends!

Posted by Mel on November 14, 2009 – 11:10 pm

Filed under Community, Family, Relationships

Friends…

A Friend ~ is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you today.

I have come to a moment in my life where I have been compelled to examine my friendships – past & present….. what does friendship mean to me and how willing am I to be the type of friend that is present in someone else’s life. Through numerous experiences I have come to the realization that friendship means a lot of different things to people. After a lot of years of “friendship lessons” my definition of friendship has evolved. I think a friendship must always be willing to go deeper and it has to be healthy. There has to be a lot of love, quite a bit of sacrifice, and sometimes friendship will become just plain, old uncomfortable. Then there’s always the challenge of doing all of this in the midst of sharing your life, dreams, and ideas with one another.

I had found myself falling into the belief that because I know someone and we share similar likes and are living life in close proximity that means friendship. That doesn’t always mean friendship….. but it can mean some absolutely amazing experiences of life in community. I truly love the people in my life that I share community with, they make me laugh, we share moments, we pray for one another, but we don’t always know one another very well. We may have a lot of acquaintances but they don’t always translate to friendships.

Friends should know about the details of your life. They are the person you could call in the middle of the night, sob your eyes out with…that person that is willing to search the darkest recesses of your heart and soul with you. They are the person that sticks around no matter what happens, has your back, and after soul searching expeditions with you – no matter what they may find loves you even more. And when things get really bad they are the first person there and they stay through every situation all the way to the end. That’s usually the sign of a true friend…when the dust settles and you look around it’s the people still standing there with you, covered in the same dust as you, that you can count on as friends.

To be honest I have found those kinds of friendships in my life, but I realized to keep them I needed to work harder at letting those friends know they were important to me. I understand now to make those relationships mature I have to put in a lot of effort on my side. Work, kids, busyness can push away friendships. There have been people in my life that I have been close to for a season but for whatever circumstance they just slip away.

I had some serious life lessons happen over the last couple of years. Moments of reflection on who I am, what my relationships looked like with my husband, my parents, my children, the church, God. I can’t say I’ve loved every moment but I’ve learned quite a bit. This past week I was challenged more than I could ever imagine….when it came to my friendships. I do have the involvement of a handful of women in my life that I would consider lifetime friends. Just recently God got my attention in a very big way to help remind me not to let the busyness of life push them away. I had the privilege to be with a friend during a very difficult moment in her life…it was a moment to show her through actions…. how much I cared for her.

I have come to the realization that during the most difficult moments in life God is working on refining my character. I realized a long time ago that God uses each one of life’s circumstances as a teaching & often a disciplining moment. I look forward to what’s coming as God continues to work on my heart when it comes to the women in my life….all of the women…my family, my friends, my acquaintances. God’s plans for us are never small or insignificant. The things He has been laying on my heart recently fall right in line with where my passion is.

Amen and yes to whatever is coming next!! Here’s to friendship!!!

Oh yeah……Have you called your friend today?

Yep…that’s me!

Posted by Mel on October 12, 2009 – 7:57 pm

Filed under Books, Community

That would be me….& Donald Miller who wrote Blue Like Jazz! I had the opportunity to read that particular book during a “particularly” difficult period of time in my life.

I think every new Christian goes through a time of discovery. The first part of any new relationship is that “honeymoon” phase. Everything is right in the world, you love everything, no one does any wrong! Then that relationship has to grow to the next level or it dies and doesn’t go anywhere. For months I prayed without ceasing for God to take all I had, which wasn’t much…basically the life he’d given me, and make it His. I had forgotten that growing pains could be excrutiatingly painful!!! I certainly had not imagined where this relationship would go…but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Last Friday I attended “The Million Mile Tour” and got to “listen” to the stories that had already impacted me through their books. It reminded me that God uses our “story” to inspire and encourage others. It was a good moment. I had the opportunity to meet the authors after the event and they were good people, very down to earth. Susan’s words of encouragement & hug that night were comforting…it was that common ground of understanding painful moments and I’ll be working on my grateful list just as she suggested. Donald talked a lot about our stories and what that looks like…it really made me think about my story and I’m trying to figure out how to put it down on paper.

Donald shared a story about a really dark time in his life and he says that he told God that he would never thank him for that time…yet later on he finds himself thanking God for that tragic moment in his life. He grew through that experience. I identified with that because I’m finding myself in that same moment – thanking God for “growing” pains.

As I continue down this path and I look back over the places I’ve been it makes me realize everything worked in unison to bring me to this exact moment…I have learned so much. I’m grateful for a lot of things…tonight I’m grateful for growing pains!