The last 2 weeks have been stressful and busy for lots of people. We’ve experienced the same crunch here. Almost every night we’ve had a concert or event to attend which makes for tired, grumpy people most mornings. Combined with some not feeling good and that’s quite the recipe for disaster. Emilee’s spent the last 2 weeks going off to school almost every morning in tears. She’s tired, she doesn’t want to get up, she has an issue with getting dressed, or making the bus! We’ve all tag teamed her~me mostly, dad a lot, and one morning I think Seth felt really bad for her and got up and had her ready for school and dropped off himself! That was the best morning we’ve all had in 2 weeks. Except for Thursday morning and that was the day AFTER I watched my son deal with her with kindness and patience and laughter. I felt like such an idiot! All I can remember over the last couple of weeks is saying things like “Emilee, hurry up, you’re going to make us late, you’re not paying attention, did you hear me?” And through tears and wails some mornings I would hear her say “You aren’t listening to me!” I realized that I probably wasn’t “really” listening to her. She had to be exhausted not getting in most evenings until 9:30 or 10 and then right back up the next morning on not a lot of sleep. I probably wasn’t listening at all. (It’s kind of funny that the bad “mom” in Tangled today didn’t listen either!)

As I’ve looked back over the last couple of weeks and realized we all have been focused a lot of other places I realize how easy it is to get your eyes fixed on the wrong things. Another lesson learned! Emilee slept in this morning for as long as she liked. When we spent the day together it was as if nothing had transpired out of the ordinary these last couple of weeks. Kids always amaze me with their resilience in life. Their ability to take in sadness and find joy in the next moment. They take the good and the bad and yet they always seem to find their smile. It reminds me of the children that Michael met while in Haiti. Very sad and dire circumstances but still that ability to smile and find joy. Why do we ever lose that? Why do we want to? Why don’t we hold on to that part of our childhood? Where does that awareness go?

I loved watching that movie today through Emilee’s eyes. We laughed and we were sad and during the scary parts we slid down in our seats and held on to each other for dear life. A lot of emotions to be had in two hours, a lot of freedom to be had. I read in Matthew 18 what Jesus has to say about children and the kingdom of Heaven.

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:1-5

and then he goes on to say:

6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.7 Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! Matthew 18: 6,7

I realize that this journey of motherhood carries a very big responsibility and I’ve found myself at times on the failing end of things. Making the wrong decisions, feeling tired and overwhelmed but looking back I realize I’ve passed on some wisdom, come to some realizations…and I have loved these three children that God has entrusted Michael and I with so much passion. I wouldn’t think twice about giving my life for them. Just like I imagine God was thinking when he sent Jesus to save us.

I love being a mom and I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had and still have to impact their lives.

I love you very much…Kayla, Seth, and Emilee. Thanks for loving me back and forgiving me when I needed it and for hanging in there while sometimes I’ve had to learn from mistakes I’ve made. You are truly a treasure to me! My greatest prayer for you every day is that you never lose the wonders of childhood and you continue to love and follow God in every moment of your life! Love, Mom

¹³Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” ¹⁵But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. ¹⁷It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. ¹⁸For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, ¹⁹through whom also he went and preached to the spirits in prison ²⁰who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, ²¹and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, ²²who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him. 1 Peter 3:8-22

Seems like a crummy thought doesn’t it? Suffering for doing good. My Americanized idea~doing good means I get a reward right? I get a prize, or compensation, or at the very least praise! A little scenario played out this morning while at McDonald’s with my youngest. She went to the counter and asked for a bag to be able and take her breakfast with her. After returning to our table the lady behind the counter brought two cookies over and asked if Emilee could have them. She explained that Emilee was so polite and had really good manners and she said that is something rarely seen anymore. (Don’t get me started~that’s a whole other blog post!) Emilee takes all this in and after the lady walks away, Emilee looks at me and says-I’m going to do that more often! I asked if it was so she could get more cookies! She said no, it was because the lady was happy with her and it made her feel good. We’re all kind of like that. We want the recognition that we did good and someone was happy about it. If we don’t get that feedback then somehow we’ve been slighted or insulted.  We certainly don’t want to suffer for doing good! I see so many people around me in my life that “quit” doing good because there’s no return. The whole mentality of…then what’s in it for me? If it doesn’t make me happy or I don’t get anything good from it then I’m just not going to do it! I felt like that wasn’t really something I wanted Emilee to think was okay. I wanted her to know that you do good not for the recognition of others but for the blessings that come from our relationship with Jesus and because He calls us to be obedient to His ways. His ways are so much better than our own!!

We were reading in 1Peter last night in our cell group and I was so struck by this particular passage and have read it several times. I need Emilee to understand that her blessings don’t come from this life, but from a Father who loves her more than I ever can. It is so important that I don’t continue with the thought it’s all about my “prizes” that I get for being the best Christian ever. I don’t want to be that kind of example to my children. Sometimes we get so surprised when things don’t go smoothly because we invest so much time trying to be pleasing to those around us and it never turns out the way we think it should! When we’re doing that we forget about the cross and the sacrifice that was made there because of our sin and selfishness.

My prayer is that God continues to strip off my sanitized “rose-colored” Christianity glasses. I’ve realized that this life is not about my comfort and happiness. It’s about being called by my Father to love those around me, be humble, share my faith, and not always be expecting a prize for good I’ve done. May I always recognize the blessings that sometimes come through uncomfortable situations and yes, even suffering.

May I always remember to be thankful…..

Thanks for reading!

Living in freedom,

Mel

So many things coming up for the Goldsmith family over the next couple of months! Michael and Seth off on mission trips. Michael to Haiti and Seth to Baja, Mexico with the Newsboys. I know that these moments will forever change their view of the world. May they gain an awareness of the needs of others that will lead them to a life of outward focus.  July will also bring a trip to the Lake to honor John Howser at the Howser Music Fest. What a great way to spend time with others and honor John’s legacy and his impact on our lives. This summer finds me headed back to school and while I’m both excited and a little nervous I am already looking forward to being done! I’m also back to working only as needed-no more full time hours right now.

So much happening, it kind of makes my head spin! I’d appreciate it so much if you could join me in praying for the guys while they are away from home and prayer for Emilee as she starts her own journey with God as the center of her life…that would be so great. Prayer is a powerful thing! If you could pray for me as I start class that will help me get through this next year-I know I’ll need a lot of prayer!

Looking forward to sharing some more “quiet thoughts” over the summer as well. My husband did mention I should write a little more often so that each post doesn’t seem like a novel! I’ll see what I can do. I might have to change the name of the blog to Mel’s Rambling Thoughts! As always, thanks for reading.

Living in freedom,

Mel

With Christmas coming she keeps hinting that “Santa” should bring it to her. Daddy and I explained that Santa didn’t bring those kind of gifts since he has a lot of little children to get gifts for. This evening she was adamant that request would go in her letter to Santa we were writing. After realizing she wasn’t going to win on the Santa idea..she changed tactics and said she would ask us to get it for her, as our Christmas gift to her. I told her that would not happen and explained why, but that didn’t set well. She reminded me that Christmas was about her getting the gifts she wanted!!! (All this in a teary, woe is me, my life is horrible kind of dramatic episode.) I was not entirely surprised since she is only 6 years old and right now her world…revolves around her.

At this point, letter writing was paused as we talked about the real reason for celebrating Christmas. That being the birth of Jesus Christ and not the receiving of any & all presents she thinks she should have. I am very aware that Christmas has become a very materialistic, consumer driven holiday. That’s pretty evident since the stores have had Christmas “stuff” out since before Halloween. Which is ridiculous!!! I also realize this push of consumerism has a huge impact on my children. We’ve always tried to keep Christmas giving very low key at our house. No matter our income we have not ever spent a huge amount of money. Michael & I have not exchanged gifts but a handful of times over our last 22 Christmas’ together.

We’ve been talking about becoming a part of an organization like World Vision or Compassion by sponsoring a child for awhile now, this was the perfect opportunity to explain to Em the need of other children in this world. As we looked at picture after picture of little girls her very age, I saw a transformation taking place. It was no longer about what Em could “get”, it became about what she could “give” to someone else. I think that’s one of the best lessons Michael & I can pass along to our children.

Besides outgrowing their clothes and needing them replaced…there is nothing our children absolutely have to have at this moment. Here’s what I do want them to have: I want my children to have a servant heart, I want them to give more than they get, I want them to understand the need of other people in this world! I want them to stand up and do something about the need of other people in this world! I have a feeling this Christmas may be an altogether different experience for the Goldsmith family! What better time of the year to start living our lives in a missional way and continuing that always – and hopefully….. someday passing that along to our children’s children.