The last 2 weeks have been stressful and busy for lots of people. We’ve experienced the same crunch here. Almost every night we’ve had a concert or event to attend which makes for tired, grumpy people most mornings. Combined with some not feeling good and that’s quite the recipe for disaster. Emilee’s spent the last 2 weeks going off to school almost every morning in tears. She’s tired, she doesn’t want to get up, she has an issue with getting dressed, or making the bus! We’ve all tag teamed her~me mostly, dad a lot, and one morning I think Seth felt really bad for her and got up and had her ready for school and dropped off himself! That was the best morning we’ve all had in 2 weeks. Except for Thursday morning and that was the day AFTER I watched my son deal with her with kindness and patience and laughter. I felt like such an idiot! All I can remember over the last couple of weeks is saying things like “Emilee, hurry up, you’re going to make us late, you’re not paying attention, did you hear me?” And through tears and wails some mornings I would hear her say “You aren’t listening to me!” I realized that I probably wasn’t “really” listening to her. She had to be exhausted not getting in most evenings until 9:30 or 10 and then right back up the next morning on not a lot of sleep. I probably wasn’t listening at all. (It’s kind of funny that the bad “mom” in Tangled today didn’t listen either!)

As I’ve looked back over the last couple of weeks and realized we all have been focused a lot of other places I realize how easy it is to get your eyes fixed on the wrong things. Another lesson learned! Emilee slept in this morning for as long as she liked. When we spent the day together it was as if nothing had transpired out of the ordinary these last couple of weeks. Kids always amaze me with their resilience in life. Their ability to take in sadness and find joy in the next moment. They take the good and the bad and yet they always seem to find their smile. It reminds me of the children that Michael met while in Haiti. Very sad and dire circumstances but still that ability to smile and find joy. Why do we ever lose that? Why do we want to? Why don’t we hold on to that part of our childhood? Where does that awareness go?

I loved watching that movie today through Emilee’s eyes. We laughed and we were sad and during the scary parts we slid down in our seats and held on to each other for dear life. A lot of emotions to be had in two hours, a lot of freedom to be had. I read in Matthew 18 what Jesus has to say about children and the kingdom of Heaven.

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:1-5

and then he goes on to say:

6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.7 Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! Matthew 18: 6,7

I realize that this journey of motherhood carries a very big responsibility and I’ve found myself at times on the failing end of things. Making the wrong decisions, feeling tired and overwhelmed but looking back I realize I’ve passed on some wisdom, come to some realizations…and I have loved these three children that God has entrusted Michael and I with so much passion. I wouldn’t think twice about giving my life for them. Just like I imagine God was thinking when he sent Jesus to save us.

I love being a mom and I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had and still have to impact their lives.

I love you very much…Kayla, Seth, and Emilee. Thanks for loving me back and forgiving me when I needed it and for hanging in there while sometimes I’ve had to learn from mistakes I’ve made. You are truly a treasure to me! My greatest prayer for you every day is that you never lose the wonders of childhood and you continue to love and follow God in every moment of your life! Love, Mom

Remember that day? What a crazy time! We’ve had a few of those in our life together. Looking back over 23 years of marriage I realized I wouldn’t trade a moment-good or bad. I just wanted you to know on this “Friday the 13th” that I love you more today than I did that day a long time ago. Is that bad to say? That I love you more now than I did then. If anyone would understand that you would! We were such kids..there were lots of things I didn’t know back then that I had to learn along the way. Thank you for being so patient with me all these years.

I’m looking forward to whatever comes next and wherever we go from here. I’m so excited as we’re learning and sharing what it means to love Jesus and love people and follow Him wherever he leads. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than right in the middle of this crazy life with you and  I couldn’t let this day pass without telling you…..

Happy  Anniversary &  I love you so  very much!

I often dream of a place where I don’t have to continue the “routine”. I look around at all the “stuff” that we have on display at our home that collects dust but has no function. (Hence, the reason for the routine! Gotta keep the stuff !) I think about the fact we only really use a quarter of the space in our house and we are all usually in the same room together at the same time. God has challenged us strongly of recent on our finances and our inattention to the “important” things of this life. We have made some attempt to decrease our debt. We have no car payment at this time and although we are tempted since Michael’s truck exploded we have not succumbed to that temptation. Having one car sucks, or so we think, since we usually have two. The American dream states that we are entitled to have two working vehicles. Right? Too much focus on the “stuff”! But, then something happened….

July happened and Michael went to Haiti and Seth to Mexico and suddenly none of that matters. This didn’t even matter….

I had recently received a “bid” on getting my teeth fixed. I have a congenital defect where several of my permanent teeth never formed, so I either have empty space or baby teeth. Nine missing teeth to be exact! I’ve always felt like to be a “whole” person I should have perfect teeth and I feel entitled because I’ve waited all these years to get them fixed. Then July happened and the 3300.00 to fix my teeth seemed like a very vain attempt to be pleasing to who?….people, myself, my family, God? My teeth work, I’m able to eat, they aren’t decayed…they function in the manner that God intended them to. So, after talking with Michael, I made the decision that these were the teeth God gave me and I would live out the rest of this life with them. I didn’t need my physical appearance to speak for the person I am inside.  I realized that 3300.00 would be better served to build a structure in Haiti or drill a well for fresh water wherever it’s needed.

I know the next year things are happening for our family that will lead us somewhere else, I don’t really know where, but I know God has been getting us ready for a long time. I think He’s been waiting on us to realize what is important and to know that without Him we can’t accomplish anything. So we are getting ready to step out on faith and go wherever He leads us.  I have a different philosophy about this life that I find is not always very popular with some people in my life. But, I’m 100% sold out that this life is not about our comfort or even about us being comfortable, I believe it’s about living dangerously and helping those that God has always called us to help…the downtrodden, the poor in spirit, the orphans, the widows. I often wonder how different we would be if we fell into one of those groups I mentioned? Would we be full of hope like the people that Michael & Seth met. They had nothing… but they had everything…… because they had Jesus and they had hope.

Michael’s group that went to Haiti has partnered with Growing Hope For Haiti and they will be helping with an orphanage there. 43 kids sleeping on kindergarten mats under an open tent with no sanitation and one meal a day. If you’d like to talk to these guys because you also have a desire in your heart to do something outside the routine you can contact Michael here. Maybe your church wants to get on board, they’ll come talk to your church group, your family, your whatever! These guys are willing to do whatever it takes to change the lives of those kids…because it’s what God asked of them when He sent them to Haiti. But maybe you were like me, filling life up with the routine and unsure of what to do. I never really knew where to start…but this is a beginning, a step in a different direction.

Now, before I get hate comments about new cars and “stuff” know that I’m speaking for this family only. We live in a country of excess, we have way more than we need when most of the world is going without. I can’t know that anymore and ignore it…..but that’s between God and I. What God’s challenging you with is between you and Him. If this post somehow raised your interest in maybe living with  a little less and helping someone else that’s a good thing. If it’s not for you, then it’s not for you…..but you have to admit it’s something to think about! Maybe instead of being overwhelmed by trying to help the world….maybe it’s just about one tiny step of faith? One step taken then another……a beginning…..

¹³Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” ¹⁵But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. ¹⁷It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. ¹⁸For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, ¹⁹through whom also he went and preached to the spirits in prison ²⁰who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, ²¹and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, ²²who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him. 1 Peter 3:8-22

Seems like a crummy thought doesn’t it? Suffering for doing good. My Americanized idea~doing good means I get a reward right? I get a prize, or compensation, or at the very least praise! A little scenario played out this morning while at McDonald’s with my youngest. She went to the counter and asked for a bag to be able and take her breakfast with her. After returning to our table the lady behind the counter brought two cookies over and asked if Emilee could have them. She explained that Emilee was so polite and had really good manners and she said that is something rarely seen anymore. (Don’t get me started~that’s a whole other blog post!) Emilee takes all this in and after the lady walks away, Emilee looks at me and says-I’m going to do that more often! I asked if it was so she could get more cookies! She said no, it was because the lady was happy with her and it made her feel good. We’re all kind of like that. We want the recognition that we did good and someone was happy about it. If we don’t get that feedback then somehow we’ve been slighted or insulted.  We certainly don’t want to suffer for doing good! I see so many people around me in my life that “quit” doing good because there’s no return. The whole mentality of…then what’s in it for me? If it doesn’t make me happy or I don’t get anything good from it then I’m just not going to do it! I felt like that wasn’t really something I wanted Emilee to think was okay. I wanted her to know that you do good not for the recognition of others but for the blessings that come from our relationship with Jesus and because He calls us to be obedient to His ways. His ways are so much better than our own!!

We were reading in 1Peter last night in our cell group and I was so struck by this particular passage and have read it several times. I need Emilee to understand that her blessings don’t come from this life, but from a Father who loves her more than I ever can. It is so important that I don’t continue with the thought it’s all about my “prizes” that I get for being the best Christian ever. I don’t want to be that kind of example to my children. Sometimes we get so surprised when things don’t go smoothly because we invest so much time trying to be pleasing to those around us and it never turns out the way we think it should! When we’re doing that we forget about the cross and the sacrifice that was made there because of our sin and selfishness.

My prayer is that God continues to strip off my sanitized “rose-colored” Christianity glasses. I’ve realized that this life is not about my comfort and happiness. It’s about being called by my Father to love those around me, be humble, share my faith, and not always be expecting a prize for good I’ve done. May I always recognize the blessings that sometimes come through uncomfortable situations and yes, even suffering.

May I always remember to be thankful…..

Thanks for reading!

Living in freedom,

Mel

So many things coming up for the Goldsmith family over the next couple of months! Michael and Seth off on mission trips. Michael to Haiti and Seth to Baja, Mexico with the Newsboys. I know that these moments will forever change their view of the world. May they gain an awareness of the needs of others that will lead them to a life of outward focus.  July will also bring a trip to the Lake to honor John Howser at the Howser Music Fest. What a great way to spend time with others and honor John’s legacy and his impact on our lives. This summer finds me headed back to school and while I’m both excited and a little nervous I am already looking forward to being done! I’m also back to working only as needed-no more full time hours right now.

So much happening, it kind of makes my head spin! I’d appreciate it so much if you could join me in praying for the guys while they are away from home and prayer for Emilee as she starts her own journey with God as the center of her life…that would be so great. Prayer is a powerful thing! If you could pray for me as I start class that will help me get through this next year-I know I’ll need a lot of prayer!

Looking forward to sharing some more “quiet thoughts” over the summer as well. My husband did mention I should write a little more often so that each post doesn’t seem like a novel! I’ll see what I can do. I might have to change the name of the blog to Mel’s Rambling Thoughts! As always, thanks for reading.

Living in freedom,

Mel

Merry Christmas!!

I hope this post finds you full of joy…and maybe turkey! Or, if you’re like this household we go for the non-traditional meals! Last night’s Christmas Eve supper was fantastic pizza from Keith’s Carry-Out. Can you tell we are huge pizza fans at this house!? Christmas this year was so wonderful and peaceful. It was the 5 of us and we enjoyed each others company very much. We had the opportunity to attend Christmas Eve services together as a family. The Bridge had services which started at 11pm last night and ended after midnight. It was a very beautiful experience to be worshiping God on Christmas Eve and then continuing that worship into Christmas Day!

In the 22 years that Michael and I have been married we have always celebrated our family Christmas on Christmas Eve. That was a tradition I brought from my family. Michael brought the tradition of a live Christmas tree from his. It’s funny how traditions really come to the forefront at Holidays. I can remember going to my Grandma Apperson’s every Christmas Eve and then returning home…to find Santa had already found his way to our house!! That is a big comfort memory for me! Last night’s visit from Santa occurred while we were out and about! So, it was definitely a late night as our Christmas started well after midnight!

My favorite Christmas present is this little blog that the guys from Creative Improv built for me! (Do you build a page or make a page? Hmmm…that’s a question I don’t know the answer to!) I am looking forward to writing more and sharing life.  I have this wonderful writing sweater I’ll have to tell you about soon! That sweater has a great story…but that’s one for a different day. God’s been “refining” me a little…okay a lot…this past year and I can’t wait to tell you about some of those crazy moments! Okay, I’m really getting ahead of myself! A little end of the day Christmas excitement on about 3 hours of sleep has me just a little wacky!!

Before I go tonight…I’d love to hear about one of your favorite holiday traditions from your childhood that you continue today with your family.

Also, if you are blogging I’d love to stop by and read what’s on your mind. Leave me a link in a comment on this post.

Good night for now…praying for peace and joy in your life this holiday season and the year to come!!!

]]> http://www.melsquietthoughts.com/family/merry-christmas-2/feed 5 http://www.melsquietthoughts.com/life/journey/a-letter-to-santa-and-compassion-2 http://www.melsquietthoughts.com/life/journey/a-letter-to-santa-and-compassion-2#comments Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:19:00 +0000 Mel http://stephenemlund.com/melissa/uncategorized/a-letter-to-santa-and-compassion-2 This evening while helping my 6 year old write her letter to Santa for a school assignment I had the opportunity for a teaching moment about what Christmas really means. I did not realize what her perception of Christmas was, although I thought I knew, until we had a little disagreement over a gift idea. She has wanted a Nintendo DS for awhile now. It happens to be a very expensive item. The deal has always been she would save up money she received so she could buy it, herself.

With Christmas coming she keeps hinting that “Santa” should bring it to her. Daddy and I explained that Santa didn’t bring those kind of gifts since he has a lot of little children to get gifts for. This evening she was adamant that request would go in her letter to Santa we were writing. After realizing she wasn’t going to win on the Santa idea..she changed tactics and said she would ask us to get it for her, as our Christmas gift to her. I told her that would not happen and explained why, but that didn’t set well. She reminded me that Christmas was about her getting the gifts she wanted!!! (All this in a teary, woe is me, my life is horrible kind of dramatic episode.) I was not entirely surprised since she is only 6 years old and right now her world…revolves around her.

At this point, letter writing was paused as we talked about the real reason for celebrating Christmas. That being the birth of Jesus Christ and not the receiving of any & all presents she thinks she should have. I am very aware that Christmas has become a very materialistic, consumer driven holiday. That’s pretty evident since the stores have had Christmas “stuff” out since before Halloween. Which is ridiculous!!! I also realize this push of consumerism has a huge impact on my children. We’ve always tried to keep Christmas giving very low key at our house. No matter our income we have not ever spent a huge amount of money. Michael & I have not exchanged gifts but a handful of times over our last 22 Christmas’ together.

We’ve been talking about becoming a part of an organization like World Vision or Compassion by sponsoring a child for awhile now, this was the perfect opportunity to explain to Em the need of other children in this world. As we looked at picture after picture of little girls her very age, I saw a transformation taking place. It was no longer about what Em could “get”, it became about what she could “give” to someone else. I think that’s one of the best lessons Michael & I can pass along to our children.

Besides outgrowing their clothes and needing them replaced…there is nothing our children absolutely have to have at this moment. Here’s what I do want them to have: I want my children to have a servant heart, I want them to give more than they get, I want them to understand the need of other people in this world! I want them to stand up and do something about the need of other people in this world! I have a feeling this Christmas may be an altogether different experience for the Goldsmith family! What better time of the year to start living our lives in a missional way and continuing that always – and hopefully….. someday passing that along to our children’s children.

Friends…

A Friend ~ is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you today.

I have come to a moment in my life where I have been compelled to examine my friendships – past & present….. what does friendship mean to me and how willing am I to be the type of friend that is present in someone else’s life. Through numerous experiences I have come to the realization that friendship means a lot of different things to people. After a lot of years of “friendship lessons” my definition of friendship has evolved. I think a friendship must always be willing to go deeper and it has to be healthy. There has to be a lot of love, quite a bit of sacrifice, and sometimes friendship will become just plain, old uncomfortable. Then there’s always the challenge of doing all of this in the midst of sharing your life, dreams, and ideas with one another.

I had found myself falling into the belief that because I know someone and we share similar likes and are living life in close proximity that means friendship. That doesn’t always mean friendship….. but it can mean some absolutely amazing experiences of life in community. I truly love the people in my life that I share community with, they make me laugh, we share moments, we pray for one another, but we don’t always know one another very well. We may have a lot of acquaintances but they don’t always translate to friendships.

Friends should know about the details of your life. They are the person you could call in the middle of the night, sob your eyes out with…that person that is willing to search the darkest recesses of your heart and soul with you. They are the person that sticks around no matter what happens, has your back, and after soul searching expeditions with you – no matter what they may find loves you even more. And when things get really bad they are the first person there and they stay through every situation all the way to the end. That’s usually the sign of a true friend…when the dust settles and you look around it’s the people still standing there with you, covered in the same dust as you, that you can count on as friends.

To be honest I have found those kinds of friendships in my life, but I realized to keep them I needed to work harder at letting those friends know they were important to me. I understand now to make those relationships mature I have to put in a lot of effort on my side. Work, kids, busyness can push away friendships. There have been people in my life that I have been close to for a season but for whatever circumstance they just slip away.

I had some serious life lessons happen over the last couple of years. Moments of reflection on who I am, what my relationships looked like with my husband, my parents, my children, the church, God. I can’t say I’ve loved every moment but I’ve learned quite a bit. This past week I was challenged more than I could ever imagine….when it came to my friendships. I do have the involvement of a handful of women in my life that I would consider lifetime friends. Just recently God got my attention in a very big way to help remind me not to let the busyness of life push them away. I had the privilege to be with a friend during a very difficult moment in her life…it was a moment to show her through actions…. how much I cared for her.

I have come to the realization that during the most difficult moments in life God is working on refining my character. I realized a long time ago that God uses each one of life’s circumstances as a teaching & often a disciplining moment. I look forward to what’s coming as God continues to work on my heart when it comes to the women in my life….all of the women…my family, my friends, my acquaintances. God’s plans for us are never small or insignificant. The things He has been laying on my heart recently fall right in line with where my passion is.

Amen and yes to whatever is coming next!! Here’s to friendship!!!

Oh yeah……Have you called your friend today?

I was thinking…….

It’s times like these that make me think…..man, I should really listen to my husband more often!! (Shhhh, that’s just between you and I!) Actually, I do listen to him quite a bit more than I used to. After 22 years of marriage I’ve learned a lot about him and his character and how he treats others. I’ve seen most of his best and his worst moments. I have no hazy romantic illusions about him. I have something better – a long marriage of shared experiences – some good and some bad. Because of all those years of sharing life and raising kids – I have a whole lot of trust with him.

So, he gets all my tough days and stressful situations dumped right in his lap. I respect him and value his opinion. He has some really good words sometimes and when I do listen to him…I am able to gain a little perspective. He has this crazy ability to see the best in every situation and every person. No matter how dire the circumstance or painful the situation he never really gets too excited. I know there have been moments in his life that were painful moments, I have been there for many of them and some of them I probably caused -I’m sure. He is one of the most resilient people I know – he forgives easily, he never really worries. I think what I’ve noticed the most over the last year is this amazingly strong faith he has. I really can’t even explain it and he never talks about it but I see it every day. I know just what you’re thinking right now, there is something that this woman wants her husband to buy her!! I promise that is not what’s going on. I’ve found flattery gets me nowhere…especially with Michael!!

But, I do have a point to all of this “flattery”…I promise!

I had a situation come up recently and I, of course, worried it to death. I know that may surprise some of you who know me really well!! I do find myself to be a little bit of an emotional over-thinker. (Those of you that are one will completely understand and the rest of you will think those of us that are probably need a little “extra” professional help.) In these life moments I get completely caught up in thinking the worst and then I get caught up in my emotional response. Michael’s a great friend to have in these moments because he will always challenge your thinking. If there is a spiritual gift for that then he definitely has it. Sometimes his “challenging” can be…extremely challenging! ….and in the past I’ve had a hard time being so challenged – in fact, I responded very appropriately by becoming very defensive! Lately, instead of becoming defensive I’m learning to calm down and really listen to what he has to say. If I go into stressful situations thinking about some of the things he challenges me with – things that ultimately have made me look outside of my “me” mentality and see someone else’s perspective – I’ve found these moments turn out much better than I had anticipated. He reminds me of how I do not want to come across. See – he knows my heart very well and even though sometimes my intentions are good, my mouth can get in the way and mess it all up.

If there is one person in my life that kicks my tail about learning from life’s most challenging moments…it’s my dear, sweet, funny, handsome husband. I came home tonight feeling like life is such a roller coaster….one second is horrible and the next is fantastic…AND I realized I am never going to get to know what’s coming next. No matter how hard I try to predict the outcome of situations I am mostly wrong. That just doesn’t seem quite fair… and aren’t surprises really overrated anyway. BUT all that being said…it goes back to the one thing Michael says to me all the time – the only control I have over any situation is how I act and react to what is happening. That’s it – really – pretty simple. So, I’m grateful for a husband that loves me enough to continue challenging me and who wants to see the best for me on this journey. It’s good to have a partner that’s “got your back” but it’s even better to have one that’s not going to leave you to wallow in your own bad behavior.

So…do you think about….who’s speaking truth in your life? Are you listening? Did God place someone there and you’re not having any part of it? Are you like me..a little stubborn and you think you’ve got it all under control? I’ve found trying to control everything in life can be very dangerous and will probably at some point backfire on you.

My prayer for you tonight is that you are hearing that person in your life that loves you and has your best interest at heart. God knows us and He also knows that sometimes changing our bad behavior takes a lot of effort on our part and we are going to need a lot of help. We have to be willing to participate and learn from our mistakes and grow in our spiritual life. However, I don’t think He expects us to do it all by ourselves….that’s why He puts certain people in our lives. You’ll know these people… by the way they love you and the way they invest in you and a lot by the example they set in their own…crazy life.

As I get ready to close I can’t help but be reminded of that tag line from the Jon & Kate Plus 8 episodes. You know the one…. “It may be a crazy life, but it’s our life!”

I realize that even though I’ve had a couple of “those” days this week…..I wouldn’t want to trade my crazy life for anyone else’s!! And..Michael just so you know – thanks for kicking my tail when I need it and don’t ever stop challenging me to see beyond my own little world.