Category Archives: Freedom

Tennis Shoes.

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Posted by Mel on November 27, 2011 – 7:35 pm
Filed under Freedom, Haiti

“We prayed for some of the boys who don’t have any shoes to have tennis shoes so they could go to school.” That was the response to my question that day at the orphanage. “We brought some tennis shoes, could we give them to the kids?” I am humbled by that experience. In fact there are moments when I think of that conversation and the tears come and I fall to my knees. I believe that God can do anything. I believe that when we call out to Him in our prayers that He hears us even in the simplest of things.

For those that need him.

But me….I would never think to ask God for tennis shoes. If I need shoes then I go to the store and buy them. See, I live in a strong tower of my own making where asking God for anything only comes when I’ve exhausted all of my own resources. My tower has also protected me from all the messiness of this world. It keeps the people who need a lot of things on the outside of my strong walls. It makes it easy to go about life every day and not think about “the least of these”.

I am broken and confused.

Everything I thought I knew and believed in feels uncomfortable.

God has been tearing down my tower.

I am thankful.

I want to pray for tennis shoes.

I want to pray for little boys who need tennis shoes to go to school.

I want to pray for those little boys to grow up~educated and strong and loving Jesus.

Those prayers as simple as they seem in my western culture…they are mighty prayers that can change lives…that someday will change countries…..through the lives of children who honestly believe all things are possible through Christ.

Through the lives of children not only in Haiti but through the lives of children here in the United States as well. You see~all the shoes we delivered that day in Haiti came from children here in St. Louis at the school our oldest daughter teaches at. They believe that being obedient to God makes a difference. They believe that doing something will help someone. They are correct….I am honored to know them all.

Father~Continue to grow my faith to believe in mighty things! Continue to pour out your love on Haiti…there is hope there! Thank you for tearing down my tower. Wherever you lead, Father, I will follow!

October…

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Posted by Mel on October 1, 2011 – 1:31 pm
Filed under Freedom, Journey

October 1st already! I read a post this afternoon by a dear friend of mine about her love of October…it reminded me how much I really enjoy fall. Crisp days, cool nights, beautiful scenery and that feeling of slowing down for just a moment. A time to take a breath and look around. What a beautiful feeling fall can evoke! Something about fall makes me ready for change.

I’ve learned to embrace change over my lifetime of bumpy roads and dark nights. Looking back over those years the most amazing times of my life have come through change. Sometimes those “changes” have been bitter and painful. Not always the “blessings” this world tells us we so deserve. There’s this beautiful song that I’ve been listening to a lot lately and it speaks words to my heart that are beautiful and so very true.

Life is always challenging and often painful, but those moments remind me of God’s faithfulness.

He is a good God, a loving God, a just God. He is always the same, he never wavers. There will be moments that we need reminded that God doesn’t ever leave us, that he loves us so much. There will be times that the “aching of this life will reveal a greater thirst….. than this world can satisfy”. Those moments remind us that our treasure is not here on this earth.

But sometimes, we listen to the lies of this world. That we need a life of comfort and security to be truly happy…that it’s okay to blame others and even God when things don’t go the way we think they should. We buy into debates of why bad things happen to good people and why God “lets” things happen to us. Never intending ourselves to face the bad choices we’ve made or the bad behavior we exhibit! My prayer recently has been that I know that the “blessings” of this world are not meant for me….that I look to God for the blessings that he has for me and the knowledge that those difficult times are bringing a change in me I desire…a change that always brings me closer to God! Haiti reminded me that I have much to do before I leave this life and still so much to learn! No time for complacency or ideas for my own comfortable life. In just a few weeks Michael and I will be back in Haiti and I look forward to that very much but I’ve realized that wherever God sends me I will go and whatever he asks of me I will do….. whether that’s in Haiti or here or to the ends of the earth!

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

Blessings by Laura Story

It’s Spring!

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Posted by Mel on April 17, 2011 – 3:07 pm
Filed under Freedom

The “blogger” experts, whoever they are, say that when you’re going to take a break from blogging….that you should just go. Don’t announce it and don’t even schedule it. Just take a break when you’re feeling it.

I’ve needed that break for probably a lot longer than I would admit. A lot of life has happened in the last 5 years! So, in January I wrote a post that was very telling about where I felt God was convicting me and then I just took a break to think about it all.  March was my 4 year anniversary of blogging and I did feel a little compelled that I should blog something to celebrate it  but there were no words….and it didn’t seem very important.  What I’ve needed for the longest time is to just be quiet and listen. I needed to really hear from God and to rest and to stop trying to process every little detail and figure out what it all means! The last 3 months away from blogging have been huge in moving forward. Getting rid of some stuff, putting it in the past where it belongs, and living in the moments we get in this life.  Don’t get me wrong, blogging doesn’t wear me out…necessarily. I just needed the opportunity to heal….my spirit, my body, my emotions. And I was at a point where I was truly out of things to say.

Wow! It’s spring and the time has flown by since January.  I really love this time of renewal. The earth renews itself, which is glorious to watch, and I get that same feeling inside when spring comes. My spirit feels renewed…refreshed…clean. Sometimes the winter seasons of our lives are long (but I think pretty important, also). Isn’t God amazing?…He always knows exactly what we need. Coming out of a winter season into spring feels like pure joy and freedom. I learned a lot from my winter season and wouldn’t trade one tear or one hurt…..because it’s made me realize what is important. It’s not my stuff or my status. It’s something more…

So much has happened in the last 3 months! I wouldn’t even know where to begin. But I can tell you this very definitely…God is so good, awesome, amazing, loving….glorious! I have seen beautiful things! I’m experiencing growing pains with some beautiful people. I am truly humbled that He is breaking my heart for the very things that break His. I still struggle sometimes with some junk. A lot of times it’s pride that trips me up and I pray constantly that God will keep me humble. I realize I can’t do it without Him being in control. I’ve tried a lot to be my own god. To save myself, to save face, to come out the winner.  But – I am truly broken, truly sinful, and my heart is definitely wicked and very deceitful! It loves leading me in the wrong direction.

I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen from right now to the end of this life and that’s okay. I don’t feel worried…sometimes I may be a little fearful but I just plan on leaning on my Father and to keep moving forward. My prayer is that with everything I do I glorify God. That’s it really.  

Enough for now! I look forward to doing a little writing every once in a while and I hope to have some very good conversations with you! Feel free to add anything you like, I’d love to share some ”quiet thoughts”.  

  10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 5:10

My constant…

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Posted by Mel on June 12, 2010 – 8:39 pm
Filed under Freedom, Journey

con·stant

–adjective

1. not changing or varying; uniform; regular; invariable
2. continuing without pause or letup; unceasing
3. regularly recurrent; continual; persistent:
4. faithful; unswerving in love, devotion, etc.
5. steadfast; firm in mind or purpose; resolute.

I love words and definitions and writing and yes, I even love spelling. That’s the hidden English major coming out in me! I was thinking about people and moments in my life today and that word above popped into my head….”constant”. There are some people and some little routines I have that I consider a “constant”, I was reminded of those things today. I realized how much I take those things for granted. I expect them to always be there because they have always been there.  They, whether people or circumstances, are the same every day. I can depend on those constants, I feel secure and like the world makes sense in some way. Those things provide me with comfort and when they are gone it leaves a longing inside of me. A moment today made me realize that those things can be gone in a second, never to be done again….never to be experienced.
I’ve been reading chronologically in my bible and as I’ve read through the Old Testament I find myself getting to know God in a different way. I’ve always believed there was a God, even before I experienced salvation…but I never really took the time to get to know Him. I realized today as I was thinking about all the different “constants” in my life how God fills every one of those definitions above.  Never changing or varying the same God I read about in the Old Testament is the same one I seek today. He’s never paused or given up on me. He is continuous and I love that He is persistent. It’s the last two lines that really get me …He is~faithful; unswerving in love, devotion, He is~steadfast; firm in mind or purpose; resolute. He is that one thing in my life that is “constant”.  He fills that empty ache and longing that I used to get. That hole that I carried around in my heart, that I tried to fill with a lot of my earthly desires it could only be filled by Him.

Choosing Forgiveness…..

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Posted by Mel on June 6, 2010 – 7:26 am
Filed under Books, Freedom, Journey

May was a month of storms! I talked about them a lot here, they came up a lot at church as we looked into the life of Naomi and Ruth, & we  experienced a couple of crazy spring storms..one that Michael and I rode out in our vehicle!! Storms will always be around! What I think God has been teaching me lately is…that no matter the storm-He is with me!! I believe that, I always have but I didn’t always recognize it. Like a little child sometimes it was easier to go through the rough stuff with anger and bitterness in my heart. Throwing a temper tantrum because my life wasn’t going as I had planned it!! I’m truly thankful that God continues to love me even in the middle of that big attitude! Michael wanted me to remind you how awesome God has been to me through the storms I’ve experienced. So I wanted to end this time of storms with a look back at the changes!!

I could go into a whole story of how God brought my family through some storms, but that might be better left for a book someday!! Too many words!! I do want you to know that out of the storms of my life God is transforming my entire person…my beliefs, my attitude, my proud spirit! One of the things I’ve found recently is God’s loving teaching on forgiveness. I’m really bad about holding a multitude of sins against sinners, including myself! I realize the anger and bitterness I sometimes hold onto during  a storm comes from a very strong desire to protect a very broken heart. (and obviously not trusting God to heal my broken heart!) We’ve all been broken-hearted in some way or another, either by choices we’ve made or by circumstances completely out of our control. Sometimes, I want to blame God, because that seems easy and then I don’t have to take any responsibility for my own actions. But if I remember correctly the Word tells me God doesn’t have any plans to harm me….but to prosper me! Blame can be a dangerous game to be engaged in, sometimes when we’re busy pointing the finger somewhere else we ignore the thumb that’s pointing back at us!!

I learned a lot about bitterness as we studied in Ruth this past month. Remember Naomi?  Call me Mara…which means bitterness! How many times have I found myself in that very same circumstance! Call me Mara! As you continue in Ruth’s story, and what a great story it is, you realize it’s about redemption and God’s grace in our lives! A lot like some of the chapters of my own story! I don’t want to live my story clouded with bitterness and anger anymore! When I gave up control of those situations I began to see God’s amazing work on my heart!

Above you might have noticed a picture of a book…Choosing Forgiveness. I just finished this book and I can’t tell you how it’s impacted my ideas on forgiveness! I thought I’d share the title with you, as maybe your in need of some talk about forgiveness. There have been some people in my life I’ve had to go to and ask their forgiveness, which is never easy! There have also been people I’ve needed to forgive, which for me is even harder! And sometimes it’s me that I need to let off the hook and forgive! Surprising, huh? Whatever circumstances you find yourself in Ms. DeMoss’s book will certainly challenge you to take a good look at where you are! She shares some great scripture through out the book and I plan on keeping those close to my heart!

I pray this morning that if you find yourself trapped in anger and bitterness that you find love and forgiveness in whatever situation is holding you captive. Because, dear one, that’s where you are- trapped, held captive in unforgiveness…….that is all anger and bitterness will bring you. It doesn’t heal your heart, it just holds you prisoner.

It must always come back to this picture for me-a perfect God in the form of an earthly man, shouldering my sins and hanging on a cross-to die a brutal death-FOR ME, FOR MY SINS….so I could have forgiveness! The truth is I did nothing and continue to do nothing to deserve any of it!  It defies human understanding. But I have learned this-if I never translate that to my own life and extend forgiveness to others then I am just selfish and foolish and I really don’t get it! You can’t talk about grace or love or joy or any of those other words we like to throw around without living a life of forgiveness…extended to one another. It makes Christ’s sacrifice on the cross seem unimportant….when it is the ultimate sacrifice that only a most Holy God could provide. It must be the center of my life…it is a story of forgiveness, grace, love, sacrifice….and ultimately joy in His resurrection.  See…He’s not in that grave anymore and there are a lot of us that say we love him that live like He’s still there. Not me, not anymore and hopefully not you! There is a mighty power in going through life’s storms. I hope you find yourself running to them and not resisting them because I can tell you in the storms of my life I’ve found Him! Not a glossy pictured  “happy” Jesus…but the Jesus that would hang naked on a cross, mighty to save…even a sinner like me!

Living in Freedom,

Mel

Psalm 29

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Posted by Mel on May 15, 2010 – 10:52 am
Filed under Freedom, Journey, Uncategorized

As I read through the Bible I find myself hearing more and more from God. Funny how that works!! Recently I posted about storms in my life and what that means to me…how it has impacted my life.

I watched a video recently where Mandisa talks about hearing from God and how she believes that God still speaks to us. I have that belief and faith that God is still speaking. I often wonder, “Do we still listen?” After my last post I went to church and of course, we talked about storms. We’ve started a new series at church on the book of Ruth that is having a huge impact. God is speaking!! So this topic of storms has come up a lot since I wrote my last post. While reading this morning in Psalms-you guessed it-storms again in Chapter 29. David talks about the might of God and His storms. The chapter starts with shouting Bravo, God Bravo!!! Gods and all angels shout, “Encore!” They are awesomely praising God for this crazy, huge, awesome storm that just sounds insane and scary. Not usually my first reaction to a storm and asking for an encore seems a little crazy.

The very next verse David talks about “being in awe before the glory, in awe about God’s visible power!” Catch that word “visible”? That’s what I find myself looking for most-a visibly present God in my every day circumstances. Although, it is God’s “visible” power that I so often overlook because of my own fear and indecision. I also get too wrapped up in dreaming life, that I forget to “live” my life. Or I get too worried about failing to try anything. He’s teaching me to stop waiting for the best circumstances and just jump. I’m learning on this journey that failing is no longer a bad word, it’s a step to learning. If I don’t ever fail….then I’m probably not ever going to learn!

As I read about David, I’m really starting to get to know him better and realize why he is a man after God’s own heart! And in the midst of all this crazy storm in vs. 9 David says, “We fall to our knees-we call out, “Glory”! What other response could you have…when you are seeing God’s visible power. I don’t think people do that enough anymore, fall to their knees. I have seen that one time in the last 8 years of church attendance….one time that someone fell on their knees in front of God. That’s a whole other blog post to write!!

My favorite part of the chapter comes at the end. (And no it’s not that the storm is over!!) It’s when I read-God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace. What an amazing promise….through the storms we become stronger and in the midst of it all we find peace. I’m learning to take the storms for what they are and to not fear them as much but to learn from them. I’ve decided to take the storms because He is with me through every one and I’d rather be with Him than go back to living the way I used to when I was lost!!

I know this chapter shouted out to me this morning and I know a lot of people are facing storms right now in their lives-so I hope that you found peace in the words of Psalm 29.

The Storm.

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Posted by Mel on May 1, 2010 – 9:25 pm
Filed under Freedom, Journey

“There’s a storm coming in the distance.

Some will run to it and some will resist it.

Our eyes will turn to the sky.

With desert hearts looking to the heavens, desperate for your holy fountain, our eyes will turn to the sky.

Rain down on earth, Father. Rain down on earth, Spirit. Rain down on earth, Jesus. Rain down on earth.”

~Carlos Whittaker

Storms….Do you run “to” them or do you “resist” them? Me? I fall on the side of resisting them.  I don’t like storms one bit and as far back as I have memories  I’ve always feared them.

Last night Michael & I got caught right in the middle of a huge storm coming home from Farmington. The lightning started out looking like the picture above but when the rain and wind came it was flashing so fast it became a blinding white light. That light wasn’t illuminating it was disorienting. For a while I wasn’t even sure we were driving on the road anymore. But we just kept going, forward, moving very slowly and just as slowly the storm started to let up. That’s the best thing about a storm-that it has an ending. It doesn’t last forever, although sometimes it seems that way, there is always going to be an end.

I’ve thought a lot today about how overwhelming some of the storms in my life have been. I also realize if I hadn’t experienced those storms I would never be any different. I would be  making the same mistakes, I’d never learn anything new, and I certainly would never have allowed God total access to every part of my life. I know that the storms are going to keep rolling and they won’t be comfortable but I believe in how they can shape me. I have come to the painful awareness that life is not about what I can accumulate in the way of possessions, it’s not about my status or how important I think I am, and it’s certainly not about arriving at death safely. It is however about giving away everything I have to follow Him, it’s about relationships and community and it’s about living life to it’s absolute fullest. Storms included!!! The moment those ideas became real in my life…I realized I’d never be completely “comfortable” in this life anymore. I don’t think we’re meant to be comfortable here. Wouldn’t it make heaven seem insignificant and unimportant? Don’t you think?

I love the lyrics above, they are beautiful and honest and very raw, the moment I heard them I felt their impact. No longer do I want to resist…..I realize it’s in those stormy moments that God fills me with what my heart has been looking for all along~Freedom, joy, love without measure…and peace in the midst of the worst storm. I desire the rain, it changes me..forever. No longer do I feel trapped by the same old things.

I hope in the midst of whatever storm you are experiencing that you meet God there, it will forever change you and may it encourage you to live dangerously and boldly, in complete joy and freedom with love and peace always invading your heart.

That is my prayer for you…..

The Post that Never Was?

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Posted by Mel on January 16, 2010 – 5:19 pm
Filed under Freedom, Grace, Jesus, Journey, Opinions

Sounds like a great opening line for a Hitchcock mystery! This post was actually going to be titled Joy vs. Happiness when I started thinking about it at 4am this morning. Slept well last night, but couldn’t sleep in this morning…so I got up and headed downstairs where it was quiet. Was going to write my blog post that had been running around in my head since 4am and do some reading in my bible. I’ve been reading a chronological version of the bible and have really liked it so far. I was reading Job but have now flipped back to the middle of Genesis….well this morning I found myself reading in Galatians. Not where I expected to be reading when I opened my YouVersion. The verse I started reading,  I have read it dozens of times without much effect but this morning I read it in every version that YouVersion offered. I was overwhelmed by it.  I liked it very much in The Message…..that is what you see below.

22 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, 23 not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Galatians 5:22,23a

After reading this and the rest of Galatians and James and 1 & 2 Peter I realized I still have a lot of learning left on this journey. It was a moment of self realization that things I struggle with could be overcome. It was promised right there…but where was I in all of this?  First off-I certainly understand the overcoming part couldn’t happen under my power. That seemed pretty simple. The realization came though, that I’m still trying to force “my way” in life. I get glimpses of that life promised in the Galatians passage, but then I find myself in the way again. I constantly say to my kids….how many times do you want me to tell/ask you the same thing? I bet God probably feels that way with me on a lot of days. My biggest roadblock would still be my blazing-hot temper. This is where I ended up next in my bible….

19 Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.20 God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger.21 So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.22 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear!23 Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror,24 walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.25 But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.26 Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air.  James 1:19-26

In my mind I can see God working on my salvation-garden. Clearing away all the weeds that are choking out all the beauty that He has planned for it. I see the most vibrant red roses climbing over a beautiful white trellis..and nestled under it all a little wooden bench…dark, green foliage and bright colors all around… beautiful white puffy clouds in the bluest sky ever and the amazing smell of  a warm summer’s day when it’s just rained and you can smell the earth alive. It’s where He & I are going to spend hours talking and planning and laughing and loving. It’s where I am going to learn the things He needs me to know…..so that I’m not glimpsing what God has promised but living right in the middle of it all!!!

I realized He started clearing this garden  a long time ago when I asked Him into my heart…it just took me a little while, as I’ve traveled down this path, to realize it and find it. As I close this post this evening…I was just wondering if you have ever thought about your salvation-garden that God is crafting for you?  Maybe you’ve never imagined it…….or like me never even knew it existed.

My prayers never cease for you….I pray that you continue to find contentment and peace and joy on your journey through this life.

My Rear View Mirror

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Posted by Mel on January 4, 2010 – 12:02 am
Filed under Community, Freedom

I have a friend that is a great source of inspiration to me. She has experienced more in a short amount of time than most people encounter their whole lives. She mentioned to me right before the holidays that she was anticipating 2010 and what it would bring. She shared that she desires her rear view mirror to be small and her windshield to be large. I love that attitude! When you think about that statement it makes all the sense in the world. How many times have I been so busy looking in my “very large” rear view mirror that my windshield has become small….with hardly a glance forward?  Sometimes I get so focused on my past I forget to look forward! I realize I should certainly learn from my past and I can share that part of my story but it can’t be my focus. Looking forward…..through my windshield….to what comes next- that’s my focus! I am amazingly blessed with a God who loves me; an amazing, crazy family; and these beautiful, inspiring people that God has intersected my life with theirs. It’s an important balance of “living” every moment and anticipating the future!

As I look to 2010 I find myself at peace with life’s experiences and ready for what’s next. I’m joining my friend in a prayer that my rear view mirror stays small and my focus is through the windshield in front of me! I understand that there will continue to be sorrow and tough days. (Although there are a lot of things I don’t understand! ) God didn’t promise me treasures here in this life but He did promise a plan for my life and a relationship with Him that’s enough to sustain me through anything. I don’t imagine Paul or Stephen or John could have imagined the hardships and trials of their lives when they chose to follow God’s call. But I can’t really believe when they got to the end of their story here on this earth that they would have wanted it any other way! What came next….in heaven…..was more than they ever could have imagined! I’ve lived enough life to know those rough times come and life’s journey and my story will be painful…maybe even more than I expected. I’m starting to understand what joy and contentment is like and it’s not something you trade on or barter over. It just is….it’s this thing that invades your soul.

It is comfort to the pain of living and learning!

My hope is that you find in 2010-your focus in what brings you joy; that your story is filled with people that love you and people who commit to share the journey with you.