It’s funny how often I’ve said…I absolutely believe that God still speaks to us in the 21st century.

I didn’t believe it was just a “bible” thing. I felt that anything that happened in the bible could still happen…including hearing God’s voice. So I believed that, yes, here on this earth God still speaks to us – sometimes in quiet whispers & sometimes in a loud, booming voice.

I would say that to people and truly believe it, in fact at life group one night that very question was asked and I answered quickly, without reservation – YES. I just couldn’t figure out how I could experience it and why I never had. Please know that I’m not talking about those moments when we feel very compelled or “convicted” to do something. I certainly believe those are moments when the Holy Spirit is giving me the nudge to do something in particular. Nope, right now I’m talking about voices. Do you believe that God speaks to us in an audible voice? I know you may be feeling a little uncomfortable at this moment but maybe after I share my voices story it will make more sense!

If you read my blog post on the 15th you’ll see I was debating worry and some of my “fix it” mentality. What you didn’t know from that post is I was really struggling with some thoughts that I absolutely did not want back in my head. Reading the post again, myself, it seems pretty calm and benign…but I was in some serious turmoil that night. Couldn’t sleep, trying to talk myself out of going “there” again, & trying to use the motivation of positive thoughts to overcome darkness. I often wonder if I’m just a slow learner or very forgetful. Trying to do things under my own power again!! At one point while praying I got angry….I cried out and pretty much said….God – this situation is in your hands… I’m absolutely done with sleepless nights filled with darkness and you are going to do something and you are going to make sure I know YOU heard me. Didn’t share my feelings very well & please know I’m not really proud of that moment. Really debated on glossing that over so I didn’t look like such a spoiled brat. I’m not sure…could that be considered a tantrum? Grateful for not receiving any “lightning bolt” discipline.

What I didn’t realize that early morning was a lesson would be coming and it would be coming very soon and it would start off a week full of lesson after lesson.

What happened next? It’s too long for one post so you’ll have to check back soon for the rest of this crazy, little experience! You can be assured that I’m still living, no lightning….but definite lessons learned and still learning. I don’t think you can challenge God without Him answering…while He offers a little discipline for bad behavior…a little teaching…and a whole lot of His love unleashed….. so you will NEVER, EVER doubt again that in those dark moments He is always with you. What I also realized was my heart was open to whatever happened and I think to hear what He’s going to say there has to be a willingness to accept it….no matter that you might have to come face to face with some hard truths about yourself.

So, before we move on….what is God asking you to lay down that you aren’t? Are you willing to really listen….. And maybe a better question, what will it take to make you let it go?