Friends…

A Friend ~ is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you today.

I have come to a moment in my life where I have been compelled to examine my friendships – past & present….. what does friendship mean to me and how willing am I to be the type of friend that is present in someone else’s life. Through numerous experiences I have come to the realization that friendship means a lot of different things to people. After a lot of years of “friendship lessons” my definition of friendship has evolved. I think a friendship must always be willing to go deeper and it has to be healthy. There has to be a lot of love, quite a bit of sacrifice, and sometimes friendship will become just plain, old uncomfortable. Then there’s always the challenge of doing all of this in the midst of sharing your life, dreams, and ideas with one another.

I had found myself falling into the belief that because I know someone and we share similar likes and are living life in close proximity that means friendship. That doesn’t always mean friendship….. but it can mean some absolutely amazing experiences of life in community. I truly love the people in my life that I share community with, they make me laugh, we share moments, we pray for one another, but we don’t always know one another very well. We may have a lot of acquaintances but they don’t always translate to friendships.

Friends should know about the details of your life. They are the person you could call in the middle of the night, sob your eyes out with…that person that is willing to search the darkest recesses of your heart and soul with you. They are the person that sticks around no matter what happens, has your back, and after soul searching expeditions with you – no matter what they may find loves you even more. And when things get really bad they are the first person there and they stay through every situation all the way to the end. That’s usually the sign of a true friend…when the dust settles and you look around it’s the people still standing there with you, covered in the same dust as you, that you can count on as friends.

To be honest I have found those kinds of friendships in my life, but I realized to keep them I needed to work harder at letting those friends know they were important to me. I understand now to make those relationships mature I have to put in a lot of effort on my side. Work, kids, busyness can push away friendships. There have been people in my life that I have been close to for a season but for whatever circumstance they just slip away.

I had some serious life lessons happen over the last couple of years. Moments of reflection on who I am, what my relationships looked like with my husband, my parents, my children, the church, God. I can’t say I’ve loved every moment but I’ve learned quite a bit. This past week I was challenged more than I could ever imagine….when it came to my friendships. I do have the involvement of a handful of women in my life that I would consider lifetime friends. Just recently God got my attention in a very big way to help remind me not to let the busyness of life push them away. I had the privilege to be with a friend during a very difficult moment in her life…it was a moment to show her through actions…. how much I cared for her.

I have come to the realization that during the most difficult moments in life God is working on refining my character. I realized a long time ago that God uses each one of life’s circumstances as a teaching & often a disciplining moment. I look forward to what’s coming as God continues to work on my heart when it comes to the women in my life….all of the women…my family, my friends, my acquaintances. God’s plans for us are never small or insignificant. The things He has been laying on my heart recently fall right in line with where my passion is.

Amen and yes to whatever is coming next!! Here’s to friendship!!!

Oh yeah……Have you called your friend today?